One Of My Very Own
*I've stepped up my butthole gags after that one guy complained.
<>
EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
<>
THINK ABOUT THIS
He says it so much better than I.
Guess who this is.
Why? Can anyone give me a reason for that?
I've always advocated everyone using a small car for the morning commute then rent a big car for you vacation or whatever.
I think that before you can call yourself the greatest country in the world you need to factor in your suicide rate.
A man feeds the pigeons in the same spot every day that it has caused damage to the sidewalk.
A man after my own heart.
Humor aside, why would anyone give a fuck if another man liked to wear women's underwear? I would seriously like for a person who does, in fact, give a fuck to explain to me why. Please.
Biden Funny
-sound on-
Tom and Jerry Situation
-sound on-
-listen very carefully-
I had to listen to it more than once.
Reptilian Shape Shifter
-sound on-
There are batshit crazy people in both parties but the Republicans leadership not only doesn't criticize their nuts they adopt the craziness.
You Can't What?
-sound on-
Do you guys think we are getting close to having enough toothpaste options? I feel like we must be getting close.
*That took me much too long.
Not enough men these days put fish in their mouths and pull out the entire skeleton intact.
THE NATURE OF LEARNING
Humans can learn from books.
Animals learn from example.
One Talented Elephant may have watched humans do it or taught to do it with rewards.
But this monkey has probably never seen a baby being washed.
^^B4^^
And god only know how this monkey learned this...
I amazes me every day the number of drivers who never learned to drive properly.
Waterfall Physics
I'm going to assume he learned that by accident.
Note chocks. I hope it didn't require a runaway truck for them to learn the value of those.
When I hear commercials say “win a trip for you and six friends” I start counting to see if I have six friends.
If you walk in on a girl giving birth in the bathroom at Applebees, don’t judge her, you’re also eating at Applebees.
DYING IS EASY
LIVING IS HARD
And then there was Mrs. Jonah.
She is just to the left of the lady in the middle of the screen.
Don't blink…
Just another reason I don't will watch out of a kayak.
Oh to be young. I took a spill lesser than that and broke my fucking hip.
*How I hate that font.
I don't know how many of you know this but if you have to get something to a neighboring city very quickly you can take it to the bus station, pay to have it stowed with the luggage, and they will drive it straight to that city in just a couple of hours. You do need someone at the receiving end to go to their bus station to pick it up, but it is the fastest way.
WWII-era plane makes emergency landing at Cocoa Beach, Florida
He can just literally walk away from a water landing. Plus it is easily salvageable. Brilliant.
How the hell did he do that? I'm very impressed.
This is the clip that gave me the idea for this section.
I just read an article that said human beings can become permanently trapped within three seconds.
Cat Fight
Don't you know that the weight staff have been waiting their entire career to do just that to a rude customer.
Rock Slide
What do you think alerted them that it was fixing to happen?
Wheels Up Landing
The Leap
Subway Mishap
She was miraculously rescued alive from the tracks after the train stopped.
Mama Bear: The porridge is ready.
Papa Bear: Great, let's leave for a couple of hours.
Don't let people tell you your attraction to fire is abnormal or hazardous. Prometheus didn't have his liver eaten every day for you to ignore the allure of arson.
CLEVER IS AS CLEVER DOES
Hell I needed those for that big ass Chevy 2500 heavy duty I had.
Do you think it would change anything if the police treated all perps like human beings?
In my town their nest of hawks all over the place and they have been scared of white shit.
I love sports as much as any man but when you get right down to it they're all just as silly as ping pong on a little tiny table. But maybe we all need silly from time to time.
The way I see it that man is using just about every muscle in his body to propel that bike. I like it.
Unique Film Camera
But not all creativity goes toward the collective good.
Cum again?
Proofreaders God dammit. Everybody needs proofreaders!
When Edna Morris was CEO of Red Lobster, the restaurant chain had a $14.99 all-you-can-eat buffet. She thought she could lure in more customers by offering an all-you-can-eat buffet for $22.99 that included snow crab legs. Her ploy to fill seats worked. People mobbed Red Lobsters to fill up on snow crab legs, snubbing their noses at Red Lobster's other buffet offerings such as slimeheads, lumpsuckers, mudbugs, or whatever it is that they bread and fry. It was a massive miscalculation that ended with Morris losing her job and Red Lobster losing $400 million in stock value in a week.
---
Every Tuesday the wife and I used to meet some friends at a restaurant that had all the crab legs you could eat for $17. The last time that we went the friends canceled out on us so my wife and I went alone and ordered plate after plate of crab legs. When we got ready to pay the bill was like $62 and we said no it's all you can eat and they said "not anymore".
Another strange thing about that restaurant was that during the all you can eat phase they brought you a huge salad and a big big potato even though I told them I didn't want it. I assume they thought that the baked potato and the salad would fill me up so I would eat less crab legs.
That's what I call gross mismanagement.
Card Skimmer
My wife has a service on our credit cards where every time that it's used without us being present to sign they sent us a text notification. She's had to stop payment on a couple of them and she did so with the click of a button. And I'm wondering why everybody doesn't have that.
I watched the movie Hotel Artemis and was sorely disappointed. It starred Jodie Foster and Jeff Goldblum which was a waste of their talent.
I couldn't agree more.
<>
Did you notice that he managed to get the kickstand down?
1 comment:
Puzzle Time; Mark has worked as a coMic. a guArd, a caRer and a baKer.
The name is found by taking the middle letter of each profession, (capitalised above).
Post a Comment