One Of My Very Own
*I now think it would have been funnier if she had said: Then this morning my vagina severed my finger and I had to have it surgically reattached but the surgeon kept part of it for the paper he's planning to write about it.
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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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I agree 100%.
*Is it possible to laugh yourself to death?
Because he swore to us over and over that he had one.
And please remember that those documents belong to you and me, not Donald Trump.
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FUN WITH LANGUAGE
Oh...okay.
I wonder what they did with the leftover S and T.
My nephew of but 4 was acting up in a restaurant and I took him outside and he helped me alter a sign like that. True Story.
I found that on a very popular image site and it looks very much like OOMVO.
The freeze frame captured this caption that reminded me of my wife packing for a weekend away.
How drunk do you have to be?
How to really piss off an Englishman...
Speaking of...
The one trait that simply can't be explained away is the belief that everyone else is lying and only your guy tells the truth.
All things Ralph...
I ran across this online:
Your call will be answered in the order in which we draw names from a hat.
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My funny Uncle Bill tells the story of how used to pay bills by putting them all in a hat then pulling them out one at a time, writing a check for what he owed, and keep doing it until he ran out of money. Once an irate man called demanding payment and my uncle told him if he didn't change his attitude next time he wouldn't even put his bill in the hat.
I had a dream about a restaurant called It's Just Shrimp! that had a $900 item on the menu called Shrimp Christ and whoever ordered the Shrimp Christ would get arrested.
Nothing makes a woman overreact more than telling her not to overreact.
OBSERVATIONS OF OTHERS
I hate to be a prick about it but I got this comment recently:
I have no idea what that is about and I simply don't have time to comb through that post seeking answers.
Please use the image number.
Here's another internet find:
I once scheduled it so I made love to a young woman after midnight then the next day I had sex with another young woman after lunch. Then topped it off with an evening session with my main squeeze. You may believe it or not but I assure you I will never forget it.
The world's average number of deaths per million due to covid is 811. The U.S. had 3000 per million. Japan had 270. But you keep believing masks are worthless and vaccines are voodoo if it makes you feel like you are owning the libs.
The best sermon I ever heard was given by a visiting preacher who made the observation that Christians should be the happiest people on Earth and that if you were, in fact, not happy then you were doing it wrong.
The Suburbs
Please watch this - it's one of my pet peeves.
-sound on-
*Viewer contribution
I simply cannot work at an even, steady pace, and instead, vacillate between frenzy hyperworkmode and a near-catatonic state of existential dread and avoidance.
Death Penalty: How to make football much more intense.
THAT WHICH IS SELDOM SEEN
This man is making something out of chocolate. Guess what it is.
No, not that. I got it wrong also.
"Roommates."
And that they can fly is astonishing.
The Dragons Eye is a natural rock formation found along the shoreline of Uttakliev Beach in the Lofoten Islands, northern Norway.
Bruce Willis Returns to Nakatomi Plaza To Celebrate 34 Years of Die Hard
Jack Black's wiener
That reminds me of that novel I wrote where at every turn I stopped and asked myself what would be the last thing a normal person would expect to happen. I had a lot of fun writing that book.
Inside of a Medevac helicopter
I knew a lady who was assigned to such a craft. She always looked sort of sad and I credited it with seeing so much pain, suffering, and death.
In my sex education class, I would teach teenagers where to find the best porn.
Done with hair, tattoo, or just a few clicks in a computer program?
This one was done with hair...I think.
I weep for the future.
I don't get it.
Candy Commercial
Rolex Restoration
The Laziest of Cows
Manatees swimming through a large fever of rays
Did any of you remember that Jack Nickolson sang in the rock opera, Tommy?
Don't you hate it when the time comes to follow through on the plans you made when you were in an infrequent good mood?
*Said to be a Craigslist reference.
We are not a hugging family. In terms of emotional comfort, it is our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well-made cocktail.
RELACKS, RELACKS, RELACKS
Every summer for years my wife and I rented the very first house ever built on Ocean Isle Island in North Carolina. It was very rustic and wonderful. A small child left a note taped to the inside of the laundry closet door that read something like this?
At the beach, all we do is relacks, relacks, relacks, and then the next day we do it all over again.
I dedicate this section to that wonderful child.
Some people like massages. Me not so much.
Of course, you can pamper yourself at home.
I believe that quiet alone time is important to maintaining your mental health.
This picture illustrates the opposite of relaxation.
It seems that a universal mode of relaxation is a trek into nature.
Confusingly, some people relax by seeking thrills.
*What do they all eat? It seems any food source would be depleted very quickly.
Many adults are very good at faking relaxation while watching their kids play sports.
Some skill refinements could be considered relaxation.
Everybody needs a hobby. I think this is just as legit as any other.
What would be pure hard labor for some people that can be used to relax by others?
Playing pretend dress-up is good.
You can purchase your costume...
Or you can make your own costume.
This dad relaxes by photographing his son's birthday celebration at the dad's favorite bar.
The older I get...
But when I really want to relax I toss a condom wrapper on the back seat of my young neighbor's car then sit back and watch the fight when his wife finds it.
Let the comments begin!
7 comments:
Dear B2 Anon, ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!
RH
In reference to D16
The FBI raided what is supposed to be Trumps primary residence. I would think and I could be wrong but wouldn't that place be under secret service protection 24/7?
I am under the impression that the secret service is a government agency that is above reproach. When Clinton was having the young intern coming to the White House he went to the people in charge of keeping track of the comings and goings of all these people and asked them to remove Monicas name from the logs. They refused.
Dear Gun Guy, As I understand it, the FBI contacted the Secret Service and other authorities to let them know they had a warrant and were coming. It was also reported that Donald Trump agreed not to announce the search while it was underway to curtail any demonstration by supporters. As for Clinton's trysts - I don't see what that's got to do with retrieving public records.
RH
^^C17^^
That looks like one of the many fake restorations you see on youtube. They cover an item in mud, let it dry and then 'restore' it for the video. The internals of that watch are way to clean. If you look at some real watch restoration videos (I'm subscribed to 3 channels) that watch would have been rusted to shit inside. Cheers ponder.
C7- what a dick head! =)
Puzzle: Ages 23, 24. 23*23=529. 24*24=576. Total=1,105.
Raul
A9: Didn't Biden say something like that?
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