One Of My Very Own
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If 99% of people disagree with you that still leaves 75 million who agree.
Laying in bed at night I do brain laundry, separating the lights from the darks. And the darks I put off for another time. You may need to try that.
DEEP THOUGHTS
NOTE: Please don't take this section as me preaching to you. These items made me think and that's what I want you to do.
Wife: You need to open up more.
Me: I can't.
Wife: Why not?
Me: Let me visualize it for you.
Wife: Yes, but the situation is never going to get better if you don't eventually pull the door. Afterward, no matter what the damage you will have a functioning cabinet again, whatever plates you can salvage, and a place to start putting new plates.
Me: I'm going to take a nap now.
I have never really understood conservatives' obsession with money. Befuddling to the extreme is that these same people are Christians whose religion tells them the love of money is the root of all evil. That sort of mental gymnastics must be exhausting.
Conformity is the death of art, creativity, and innovation.
I've never had a Christian look me in the eye and say, "I'm going to live for eternity." If I was a believer I would be shouting it from the rooftops.
For $5 you can get your girl about 2 flowers from a florist or an ENTIRE rotisserie chicken. That's all I'm sayin'. The choice is yours.
Nothing in the song Monster Mash explicitly says it was a dance. It could have been an orgy for all we know.
FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY
*Viewer Contribution
And...
????
Does that say "Sober House"?
My wife took a package from a UPS driver at the door, looked at the label, and told him it was not intended for her. As he walked back to his truck he said over his shoulder, "Just keep it."
Teenage me hoping no one notices the pimple on my forehead.
Have you ever heard anyone say, "Fuck mushrooms"?
This is me after eating week-old shellfish on Christmas Eve in Mexico...true...
When you only read half the Quran.
Once you start crawling my confrontation energy will go from 100 to 0 real quick.
And there seems to be a lot of it going around...
Are you tired of winning yet, motherfucker?!
There was a cute girl wearing denim on denim next to me in the art museum elevator and as soon as the door opened she made a beeline to a giant abstract painting of a woman with her titties out.
You don't need to use words to say gay rights.
The first rule of The Condescending Club is kind of complex and I don't think you would understand it even if I explained it to you.
HUMAN ACTIVITY
How many differences can you find?
Russia’s FSB published a video of a so-called examination of the truck that’s alleged to have bombed the Kerch Bridge, and its x-ray which allegedly shows explosives.
How many differences can you find?
If this was legit (which it’s not) and the explosives were seen in the x-ray, why would they have allowed the truck on the bridge?
I am still thinking about the study that showed humans undergo profound positive physical changes when communing with nature, especially near water.
And that explains why so many people love beach vacations.
Who remembers the dance scene at the end of Slumdog Millionaire?
Remember this?
So, part of the floor collapses and you stand around ON THE SAME FLOOR looking at it? I think not. Had that happened to me I would not leave the room, I would leave the whole building.
Watch carefully...
I think it killed a dolphin.
If you got this from a girl...
Would it be appropriate to ask her for a pic of how tight she is?
E equals what?
The surface of Mars shot by Curiosity Rover and Martian winds captured by Insight lander.Credit: NASA / JPL-Caltech / MSSS
Rocket launch captured from the space station
Perp
The cop waves for him to back up while his back is turned.
Speaking of...
And yes, that is the way we speak down here.
More accent...
Whale Song
If you believe in your own instruction book, you are going to be tortured for eternity. The bar is too high for all but a handful of people and you ain't one of them.
The way her knees buckle.
I could do that if they were offering a free beer.
What is this?
2 comments:
^^A5^^
So, the Maori have a word for autism. How does that fact conform to the belief that autism comes from vaccines? Interesting
puzzle
that is a bat that has consumed too much fermented fruit juice and thinks it is hanging from a branch in a tall tree, but in reality is low enough to rest on the ground.
Well, it is a bat, the rest is just a story
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