One Of My Very Own
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No matter how big a number is it is always closer to zero than infinity.
What a depressing phrase "cost of living" is when you really unpack it.
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What if CNN reported that a guy just died at the ripe old age of 950 after stocking a boat he built with two of every animal on Earth - would you believe them? Of course not because you are not a gullible idiot.
But what if there were guys who said they saw it and wrote a book about it?
At the age of 950 years, Noah, who shepherded God's creatures through the Flood, died. He left behind three sons, from whom the human race descended, according to the Bible.
Say something nice about the UK.
Of all the places I've ever been that served potatoes with Chinese food, the UK was the rainiest.
My wife enjoyed that so much that my skull is permanently deformed.
I would think that says more about grandma's freak.
Did you know that they used to paint billboards with cans of spray paint? I met the guy who did that for the billboard company in my city and he said he included hidden naughty bits in almost everything he did. This is a perfect example.
He taught me this bit of wisdom:
"It'll look great from 40 feet."
As a mural painter, I adopted that as my mantra.
Now we have the internet that people believe for one simple reason - they search until they find someone who agrees with them. You would be shocked at the absolutely insane comments that I refuse to post.
When I was in HS, a number of our books were in our curriculum specifically because at one point in history they were feared by the ignorant.
Founder of Costco (drunk): It's going to have hot dogs...and optometrists.
Some stranger somewhere remembers you because of that one time you were the most fuckable person at Family Dollar.
GOOD IDEA?
YOU DECIDE
No handrails.
That seems like it would be a quick, say, operating room for a battlefield.
I'm not a big fan of that but he's very good at it.
That will be the first sign I've won the lottery.
The way he folds the end over really bothers me.
Does it really have to be THAT perfect?
Just something else to break down.
It was stated that it is used to wash your cat. I would like to see someone putting the creature into that thing.
Might I suggest that all dry-erase pens have a triangular barrel?
????
I'm trying to eliminate negativity from my life. Therefore, Mondays are now "Taco Tuesday Eve" until further notice.
As a tall person, I cannot offer to reach something on a shelf for a stranger, yet if they ask me I must oblige. This is the law of the giants.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
I wonder if it has to learn how to do that like a human child learning to walk?
Polish football fans aren't messing around.
Fuck Putin.
The service dog chooses his own birthday present.
I bet it needs a furnace, roof, wiring, plumbing, etc, but still a bargain. I imagine it was taken for back taxes.
That came without explanation and I really wanted to know what that was so I took a screenshot and used a Google image search.
Here is how it saw my image.
And it matched hoodies!
Just to remind you about me searching for thong underwear every day so all the site ads offer me this.
I can only assume they are orphaned.
I know a guy who is that hairy but interestingly none of his brothers are...nor his father. I would be looking at the milkman.
Goat Runner
Pumpkin Pie Sales
Did you notice that each pie is a stack of twelve or so pies?
Track Repair
I think they should set up bleachers for spectators. I would pay extra for a front-row seat.
Earth's Tree Infestation
That is Hyperion, measuring 115.92 m (380.3 ft).
*I imagine if aliens come to Earth and fly around a while they would conclude that the Earth had a tree infestation.
Enter the Storm
-Wait for the very end-
You know, you have got to be really desperate for someone to hate to settle on hating someone for wearing clothes you don't agree with.
And to think, these people believe Jesus wants them to hate people...his exact opposite position...
I can only make bigots the butt of jokes, so here's one now.
*MNBT
A few of my favorite stills
I think every believer should walk through the children's cancer ward telling every child that God loves them and note the look on their faces.
Have you ever heard the expression "A real head fuck"?
1 comment:
puzzle time
BANK
The other 3 words have homophones.
fined. bare. fare.
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