MONDAY #5094

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

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I taught my young poker buddies to always give their wives $20 "poker winnings" when they got home no matter if they won or lost. After that, the wives encouraged their husbands to go play poker again. Honestly.

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I want my Republican Party back...the one I've voted for before.

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I've shown you this at least a dozen times because I think it's one of the funniest things on the internet.

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Let's discuss this using a language even the least educated Gentle Reader can understand.

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When do those little bitches start selling cookies again?

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A threesome but instead of joining them for sex you take part in the couple's argument.

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PEOPLE

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Just another reason I need to learn how to knit...

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Everybody wants to believe in something all the experts missed.

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"Take a 90s dump" = to defecate phoneless.

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Men talk about being ass men, boob men, face men, etc, but I'm an all-of-the-above man. There is nothing about a woman I don't admire...including her mind.

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What if babies had baby eyes that fell out and grew back like baby teeth?

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It's OK if all you did today was survive.

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PLACES

Can you name the movies in which these houses appeared?

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1. Home Alone

671 Lincoln Ave, Winnetka, IL

2. A Christmas Story

3159 W 11th St, Cleveland, OH

3. Amityville Horror

112 Ocean Avenue, Amityville, NY

4. Bird Box

304 N Canyon Blvd., Monrovia, CA

5. Silence of the Lambs

8 Circle St., Perryopolis, PA

6. Harry Potter

12 Picket Post Close, Bracknell

7. Halloween

1000 Mission St., South Pasadena, CA

8. Groundhog Day

344 Freemont St., Woodstock, IL

9. Mrs. Doubtfire

2640 Steiner St., San Francisco, CA

10. Top Gun

102 N. Pacific St., Oceanside, CA

11. Steel Magnolias

320 Jefferson St, Natchitoches, LA

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Speaking of houses...

^^C12^^

I'll never forget the highway signs in Alaska that were twenty feet tall.

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I studied this map of land usage...

And I got stuck on this...

So, I looked it up.

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The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger engraver mistakes in the present.

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People keep mistaking my "wows" for compliments.

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THINGS

We've all done this...

But this lady takes it to another level...

BTW After a lifetime of work I finally bought a box of gloves just like that. They not only keep the paint, stain, and glue off my hands but they keep my hands warm.

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He wrote: "I turn old broken things nobody wants into old fixed things nobody wants."

*That's sort of like me and my boxes made of scrap wood.

^^D2^^

Shared memories are very special. We all know where we were and what we were doing. 911 is the same. And now Jan 6.

But we also hold individual memories for life. Like our first beer, losing our virginity, and, of course, our first felony.

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Nice.

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Imagine you are invited to someone's house and learn that they never wash their forks. They just rinse them off and put them back in the draw...for months. How would you feel about that?

Now consider your own behavior with this...

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I now use a flossing tool like this...

     My dental hygienist told me I can rinse them off and use them more than once.

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A vending machine that sold pre-lit cigarettes - London, England 1931

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Bridge Demolition Done Badly

^^D7^^

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Always test the depth of the water before making a fool of yourself.

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Would a merciful God allow such a thing to happen?

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After so many videos of the harm they can do, I'm leery around every such car park arm.

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