One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL:
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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Thank you for your time, Gentle Reader. I think about you guys often.
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FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY
I had contemplated requesting your help in determining what this guy did...
Then I found this...
There are protesters who glue themselves to the road but it is unclear if he is one of them.
He has chosen poorly.
Brittney Griner, once she gets home...
I once wrote about a guy who saw a sign that read: Fireworks, Live Bait, TV Repair, and Notary Public. He walked in and said, "Where're the fireworks?" to which the clerk replied, "Only on holidays."
"Live bait?"
"They all died."
"TV repair?"
"He's out sick."
"Notary Public?"
"We only put that on the sign to draw in customers."
"Does it work?"
"You're the third one today."
Cop Gunchucks
*MNBT
-sound on-
Have you ever taken a nap so good that when you woke up you thought you missed the school bus but it's the weekend and you are 76 years old?
Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.
NAUGHTY BITS
I think I have it figured out. Prior to a year or so ago I had never stopped up a toilet with my shit. Then I bought one of the new toilets that use less water and then I stopped it up every other flush. I think it has to do with the size of the curve or something.
My wife sent me this:
Anyway, long story short, my wife bought me a poop knife and now it flushes every time. It's heavy-duty plastic and hangs from a little hook that came with it. I wipe it down with a Clorox wipe after each use.
When I was a teenager we would sneak up in the attic and spy down through the ceiling fan on one of our sisters taking a bath. So, if you have a teenage son, prepare yourself.
BTW: I learned early that there are so very many ways for teenage girls to masturbate.
Speaking of...
Details...I want ALL the details.
That man has displaced priorities...or not.
Of course it is.
I'll just bet they do.
Speaking of...
I once wrote that the meaning of Kit and Kaboodle was that when men went out to hunt they took with them food preparation necessities or a mess "kit". And if their wives accompanied them they took a phallus-shaped piece of bone or wood to be used as a dildo so she could entertain herself while the men were away from camp. They called this implement a Kaboodle.
I wonder if raccoons have forgotten that we used to wear them as hats.
I made a swear jar for my wife but we don't have enough money to keep up with her mouth.
LESS THAN OPTIMAL
Survival or some sort of tradition?
The utter stupidity of most criminals never ceases to amaze me.
In my opinion, there are only three types of personal transportation: trucks, boring, and convertibles.
There is a very thin line between being daring and being reckless.
While in Alaska, my wife and I drove to a glacier. There was a barrier of sawhorses, rope, and warning tape with signs that warned everyone of the great danger of getting close to the ice. And yet not one person stayed behind the barrier. Even though I pride myself on my situational awareness ventured up to get million-year-old ice to save for my grandson.
Speaking of recklessness...
I read that you should never feed wild animals because they will come to expect food from all humans and get pissed off when a human does not feed them.
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My wife and I wandered away from our campground in Alaska and came face to face on a very narrow tail only wide enough for one of us.
We lowered our gaze and backed away without mishap.
One would think that when driving a car like that they would be more careful.
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But after thinking about it further, I now think that they are so rich that that car is nothing special so they can take any risk they so desire.
^^C9^^
Movie stuntman?
Said to be: AFU drone drops literally down the chimney/air vent of an underground Russian bunker.
Of course, in war, what is less than optimal for one side is optimal for the other.
*Verification Requested
The Cop And The Biker
I would ask for a jury trial and show that video.
The biggest plot twist since The Sixth Sense.
It's important to get out of the house every once in a while to remind yourself why you don't go out anymore.
I dusted once. It came back. Never falling for that again.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
With hardly a visible seam.
My #1 Advisor turned me on to Messi. She pointed out that when everyone else is running, Messi is trotting. And when everyone else is trotting, Messi is walking. And when everyone else is walking, Messi is standing still.
One of the announcers made the observation that Messi always walks away from the spot he wants to occupy which forces the defense to loosen up thus freeing up that spot for him to dash into.
I bought my grandson a Messi jersey. No word if he is a fan.
Mankind has been fighting steep inclines for a long, long time.
A fool and his appendages are soon parted.
^^D6^^What a wonderful memento.
And Hearts of Stone out the wazoo.
I like watching people do this.
And he has done it so many times that he knows where to place his feet without even looking.
Although, I did notice that the toe of each boot is painted yellow.
Grip Test
Most Americans would snap the line before it could lift them off horizontal.
The Mascot earns every penny he's paid...
My wife used my computer to Google Christmas presents she wanted so I would get targeted ads.
My wife once asked the concession stand guy at the theater if he had any recommendations.
A FEW FEEL-GOOD ITEMS
Orca
By now, everyone should know not to add a musical score to such things.
I Hope It's Prunes
-sound on-
🎶We Shall Overcome🎶
Great Balls Of Fire
First Pair Of Glasses
I cry rather easily at such things.
Title Of Porn Movie
For answer highlight between brackets:
[ Two Girls One Coup ]
3 comments:
Happy NEW YEAR!
You have been a part of my morning routine for almost 10 years!. Thank you!
Happy New Year Ralph. What he said.
HNY RALPH!!! From one of your loyal disciples.....
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