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READ MY, SEYMOUR
*All the really old people I have ever known said things like, "I'm just tired and ready to do."
I just don't get it. I don't look up or down on anyone who does or does not shave their crotch, but back in my day my Italian girlfriend had plenty of armpit hair and it didn't bother me at all.
And why they chose to censor the hair in that photo is a mystery to me. Much ado about nothing.
As a teenager, I ate one and a half barbecued chickens in one meal. Got sicker than a dog. Took me years to eat any more BBQ chicken.
My soulmate...
^^A6^^
A comparative religion student once came to help me paint murals. He had just gotten back from India to study their religions firsthand. He didn't curse, drink, or smoke when he came to me but within a few months, he did all three. Oh, and he became the best pussy hound that I have ever seen. He's the guy who hustled strippers right off the stage to his bed. He was that good.
My commode stops up almost every time I take a shit in it. I used a poop knife. I took stool softener. I called in TWO plumbers. Finally, the third plumber found that there was a leaking flapper which meant when I flushed it there wasn't enough water in the tank to flush the waste down properly.
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Commode Update:
Then it started backing up AGAIN. Called a good old boy plumber named Doby. He took the commode out to the driveway, washed it down, and found a foreign object wedged in the bend. He tried and tried to get it out then just installed a new toilet. All in all, I spent well over $2000 because someone dropped a brush or comb or whatever in the commode.
I would think any four-wheel drive car would be advantageous in inclement weather.
I used to love it when my daughter was in high school and came home stoned and pretended she wasn't. Fun times.
And Easter thought...
And only his true believers saw him.
I'm not sure collecting Hitler memorabilia makes you a Nazi.
Sure it is, Sparky. You might want to adjust your medication.
Remember when conservatives cared about things like honesty?
And...
"I'm going to cut out the middle man tonight and just throw the dinner on the floor myself."
- Parents all over the world
The wife and I are at the age where foreplay is just us describing things we would probably do to the other if we weren't so tired and achy.
IT'S HONEST WORK
I like people who modify vehicles.
Some modifications are better than others...
That last one is brilliant. It keeps the farmer out of the rain. He could probably hook up a small heater. Keeps the bugs out. And if he wishes he could masturbate without detection.
I have always heard them called baffles.
Can priests get fired for bad attitudes?
Designers need to bring this idea back.
Speaking of...
When the Gulf Stream flips we are going to be in trouble.
An anonymous lady posted this photo on my wife's neighborhood Facebook site and complained that we don't pay this crossing guard to just sit around. Nobody agreed with her and my wife started a thank you fund and raised $420 to gift the guy.
*Notice that school isn't even out yet.
Caulk Done Right
He makes it look MUCH easier than it is.
Emptying Hopper
Actually, the ball guy looks like he's having fun.
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I found this later and think they are related.
Would you get used to the shocks or would it drive you nuts?
Solar Panel Delivery
Track Replacement
I wonder if sleeping four hours a night and never drinking water from the ninth grade until a month and a half ago had some kind of long-term effect on me.
Have you ever been so mad at your wife that you tightened every lid on every jar in the kitchen?
CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL
I hung out near a pond that was stocked with bream. We fed them little pellets and after a while, that was all they would eat - ignoring the crickets we threw in among the pellets.
I'll just help myself thank you very much...
That demonstrates her good sense.
I never dreamed they could do that.
This asshole used to hunt sea lions - with a boat...
Comments:
There are no reliable accounts of orcas attacking humans in the wild. Clever chap, Johnny Orca.
It's a woman.
It looks like one of them has a plastic bag but it is a dead ray that it is just playing with.
"They have imprisoned our kind for decades, but we do not harm the humans, child. They are capable of far greater evil should they view us as a threat." -Mother Orca
"Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee table."
- termites probably
My favorite Twitter moment so far was when that elephant killed that old woman and everyone sided with the elephant with no hesitation or even knowing the backstory.
THINGS YOU HARDLY EVER SEE
Another pic of the setting for one of my novels. John Steinbeck said the stairs were so steep it was like climbing a ladder.
Married Barbie
This is a Volvo that I like very much.
Boxy but nice
I haven't a clue.
Girls Dancing
They are very, very good at that. And if two girls dancing together gives you any displeasure, you may want to schedule a therapy session.
Never Leave a Man Behind
9 comments:
B2 I drove gas tankers for thirty years and the holes in the baffles aren't that big or in the middle of the baffle. At least in gas tankers anyway.
Jon
D-4
That is not wife Barbie, that is girl friend barbie and we all know why.
Observations and Opinions - I hate it when I want to use one of the memes you posted, but there are grammar errors in it from the creator. If people want to make a thought provoking, intelligent point, don't cancel it out with stupid mistakes.
In picture B4, did you notice the hand? Mel
Dear O&O Anon, You could just rewrite it.
RH
Dear Ralph, I've been reading and enjoying your blog for years. Many thanks for assembling and writing it. But I must say you are so far off the mark politically, it scares me. So, please live long enough. And when the truth starts sinking in, we'll be here for you.
A11: So you and two plumbers could not hear the toilet running. Never thought to take the tank lid off and note the water level. Ok you could have been 10 years old but where did you find 10 year old plumbers.
A15: Yup, right up there with men having babies.
A11: Continued…waiting for you to tell us that a leaky flapper valve, unless near wide open, would just waste water. One of those 10 year old plumbers should have been able to tell you that a leaking flapper lowers the water level until the float have opens. Water out and water in maintains the level. Don’t you just hate it when you been had by a ten year old.
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