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FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY
Just about every teacher I've ever met had a side gig.
If you truly believe that gay people threaten your personal lifestyle you might want to schedule a therapy session.
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More clever bathroom signs...
Rethinking The Commode
But the funniest part is that Tucker Carlson loathes Trump more than I do. Who knew?
The hardest part of parenting is that each child is just different enough to make everything you learn from the prior kid absolutely useless for the next.
What do you mean you no longer like one of the five foods you actually eat?
- A parenting memoir
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
A 25,000-year-old carving of a woman was found in a cave in France
*OSIT
Well, it works.
Laurel and Hardy, 1930s Hollywood
They look so...normal.
Sułoszowa, Poland has a population of 6000, all of whom live on one street.
One highly motivated cat...
That is what I call fresh fish.
That reminds me of that mural I painted of the stable with the horse staring at the cow in sunglasses.
“Wife and I went to Mexico for our honeymoon. I had the idea of buying a bottle of tequila and drinking a shot every anniversary. It broke on the way home.”
I brought a bottle of cognac home with me from Germany. The wife and I had one swallow every New Year's Eve until it ran out.
Occasionally I supervised three classes of children at play. Getting them to line up was a chore so I told them that whichever class lined up the fastest 10 times would get five more minutes of recess. Problem solved.
Ha! That's exactly how my wife eats bananas when we don't have company over.
*Why in the hell would they use a medium gray font on a black background?
Rings Around Uranus
Magpies Follies
One of the few perfect executions we can find on the internet but it is a perfect segue.
This can't be the same body that survived 3-day music festivals.
Imagine being autistic 200 years ago and having to be hyperfixated on overalls or some shit.
CAUTIONARY TALES
I sometimes wonder why some of these were filmed but then I realized that nowadays everything is being filmed.
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There's a honeymoon story in there somewhere.
When your ground man thinks he is just ornamental.
I always assume that every power tool in my studio is trying to kill me and act accordingly.
Always elevate the log so that when you miss, the axe is going straight down - not toward your foot!
I think that thing was zooming around the room like a rocket.
Why blind people shouldn't scooter...
A total lack of situational awareness.
Litter Bug Karma
My buddy rescued a dog at the beach, feed and watered it, then took it to the pound leaving it alone in his Porsche while he went inside. When he came out he discovered that the panicked dog had ripped off the seat fabric, headliner, padded dash, and door panels.
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Speaking of auto insurance, just last week my renter was driving down the main drag in my neighborhood and a guy ran a stop sign from a side road and slammed into the side of his Morris Minor totaling the vehicle. He only had liability insurance and the guy that hit him drove off in a hit-and-run. My friend has no car AND still has payments. He had gambled that he drove so very carefully that he would never be at fault in an accident. What happened to him was the worst of the worst-case scenarios.
Isn't there a human operator who can see what is happening on his bridge?
I knew a young woman who attended Converse College. When someone placed food from home in the communal fridge someone always stole it so this woman and her friend made fudge out of Ex-Lax. It was stolen and another student was rushed to the hospital. Come to find out you CAN overdose on Ex-Lax.
4 comments:
well, on the upside she'll have a killer scar for the rest of her life and a video to show for it
Dear Anon, Without the item number nobody knows what you are talking about.
RH
^^B16^^ What the fuck is wrong with the magpies? were they drunk? (It happens.)
A12 made me spit out my iced tea!
Towanda
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