12" OF COLD HARD CASH
So I decided to make another Dollar Art to use some of them up.
A dollar bill will fit precisely in the bags widthwise if folded exactly in thirds. Then I fold the excess top over and secure it with a round label thingy.
I further secured the flap and reinforced the holes with clear packing tape - which was a real pain in the ass getting straight.
I plan on displaying a couple of hundred in a carrying case that is as yet to be constructed.
I used double rods because I wasn't keen on them swinging back and forth.
I named the box 12" before I even started and lo and behold after I bagged all the cash and put them on the rods...
They were EXACTLY twelve inches long. Pure dumb luck.
I'm going to use one of the antique brass handles I "preserved" from an abandoned school. I just can't imagine it being sold for cheap at a garage sale after I'm gone.
For the first time, I bought the one dollar bills from the bank. And miracles of miracles, there were nine Star Dollars in the mix.
And five of them are in sequence.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
We are witnessing the birth of a whole new technology. Imagine the coming advancements over the next few years. I predict that the next big step will be a film that can just be painted on a surface - including roofs, walls, vehicles, planes, etc.
That would not work on my wife. If I told her the neighbors saw her shit in the driveway, she would say something like, "I bet that freaked the fuck out of them."
*Verification Requested
Ted is dead.
You are allowed to be alarmed over the indictment of a former President - I am. But we need to ask ourselves if ANYONE should be allowed to store our nuclear attack plans in a bathroom in a relatively unsecured building?
Ask me about Scooby Doo's deafeningly loud orgasms.
I've been thinking about how there are people who literally speak Dutch every day and it's normal for them and they just have to unironically speak that language to live their lives and not for comedy.
OBJECTS OF INTEREST
According to the WHO (World Health Organization) and recent studies, the average person will shed roughly 112 pounds of skin in their lifetime.
*OSIT
I minored in ceramics and still think I would have been a damn good potter. But with two babies to feed, there just wasn't enough money in it.
She paints coins.
I wonder if she puts them back in circulation. I would.
You would think there would be some sort of electric shock emergency device to curtail such mayhem.
I never liked a woman hiding two of her most alluring assets.
Birds hit windows and leave dust prints.
That exact thing happened at my school. I showed every single class I had until the rain washed it off. You could see every feather.
One little girl asked if it hurt the bird and I said, "Oh, no, but it probably embarrassed the heck out of it."
That couldn't have happened to a more deserving animal.
I'm thinking it could have been used in a movie.
I'd be afraid it would drip on the motor.
That's a hell of a lot of weight to rest on that little platform.
Making Music
Marble Toy
I shit you not, there is a store where you can build a bear.
I've noticed that nobody drops anvils on anyone's head anymore.
RATHER ODD
HUMAN BEHAVIOR
Made with her hair out of the drain.
They had been trained to keep their eyes on the audience.
She couldn't find the little prop rod...
I was told that there was some famous person who insisted on eating every bit through dozens of takes. It would be a much more interesting story if I could remember who it was.
I used to hang out with the Editor and the Editorial Page Editor of the largest newspaper in South Carolina. They got their friends together and formed a bogus historical society and marched in every parade that would have them. They even had special headwear and even sashes. A good time was had by all.
I thought I had noticed the trick up under the napkin.
But after careful review, I think the radish brown is just the shadow of the napkin.
If I wasn't so old I would put that on my bucket list.
How do you tell if it's a dolphin fin or a shark fin?
Dentist
Freddy
Turns out an at-home DNA test is not a good baby shower gift.
Fridges have magnetic doors because kids used to get stuck in them. We now literally have to tell adults not to eat Tide pods.
TWOFERS
This is the clip that gave me the idea for this section. All the following clips have an added whammy toward the end.
Another case of failing successfully.
The Couch
Does that net look abnormally small?
Another human being who needs the shit slapped out of her...
What does her shirt say?
7 comments:
^^C15^^
Easy, that's a shark and you can tell from the vertical tailfin. Dolphins have horizontal tailfins.
^^D8^^ That kid is dead meat.
^^D9^^ Looks like it's small because it's a handicap version. Did you notice the kicker faked out the goalie with his missing leg?
Would have been even funnier if a more deserving animal, YOU, had fallen in. Cats aren't as evil as you make them out to be. But thankfully your so openminded about thing. Except cats. Then again. You got rid of your dog because YOU tripped over him. Hope you don't trip over your wife.
The reason many men have a foot fetish is because they lost their virginity to a sock.
A6 What about on your garage floor next to your Corvette?
B4: Is that one you made? Love it regardless.
Raul
Dear Raul, That is not one of mine. I worked mostly with slab pots - which could possibly explain my desire to make wooden boxes of late.
Stay safe, my friend.
RH
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