About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Saturday, July 22, 2023

SATURDAY #5323

 One Of My Very Own

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GET LEARNT


That caused some problems here on Earth.

^^A1^^

It's picking up spent cartridges.

Dark that.

^^A2^^

Read this as fast as you can...

That's amazing.

^^A3^^

Weaverbird

Here's another...

She was born knowing how to do that. I find that exceedingly interesting. We, humans, are born knowing how to swim but not walk. Excluding the processes like swallowing and breathing which are on autopilot, we are born with very few skills. Imagine if each of us were born knowing everything our parents knew.

^^A4^^

^^A5^^

^^A6^^

Inaugural lighting of the Sphere - Las Vegas, NV July 4th, 2023.

^^A7^^

*OSIT

^^A8^^

It reminds me of the "Hold my beer and watch this" fools.

^^A9^^

^^A10^^

I've often advised young friends to allot cash for a night out and when the money runs out go home. I fear when they constantly use their debit card they have no notion of how much money they are actually spending.

^^A11^^

More Effects of Speed

^^A12^^

Great minds may think alike, but so do dipshits.

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I don’t want to be the “main character”. I actually want to be an extra who is there just to have fun and stand around while you deal with all the conflict.

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FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY


^^B1^^

^^B2^^

I was tasked with distributing awards to students at the end of the school year. The entire student body and parents were gathered in the auditorium as I stood on the stage and lauded the students who hadn't missed a single day of school. Then I called the first name and after repeating her name several times her teacher shouted out that she was absent that day. I managed to control my guffawing until out of the corner of my eye I saw the shoulders of every teacher convulsing in silent laughter.

^^B3^^

I have had my rental unit occupied for 30 years and in all that time I have had just two tenants.

^^B4^^

^^B5^^

I think they are stoned.

^^B6^^

^^B7^^

^^B8^^

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

^^B11^^

Sex Ed

^^B12^^

^^B13^^

^^B14^^

He must be Catholic.

^^B15^^

^^B16^^

^^B17^^

As the guy who uses cash as a medium for making art, I like that very much.

^^B18^^

^^B19^^

Eating scrambled eggs directly off the bathroom floor to demonstrate my faith in modern cleaning products.

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One of many embarrassing moments for me was when someone told me that they were an equestrian and I asked how Quito was this time of the year.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST


INTERESTING ABODES

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I like that last one very much. I also have a natural fence around my property but not that big.

^^C 1-3^^

CRITTERS

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More anasaphilia...

^^C 4-7^^

Fascinating.

^^C8^^

^^C10^^

Business idea: a dating app that only matches Brads with Brendas.

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Dear dogs, thank you for sleeping at night.

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HUMAN ACTIVITIES

^^D1^^

I remember the guy with mirrors on his shoes for the same purpose. I just don't get it.

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

^^D4^^

1970s

She's as old as I am now.

^^D5^^

Fireworks done right...


Fireworks done wrong...

But there is a magnificent alternative...

^^D6^^

Bus Lane

I don't understand all there is to know about that.

^^D7^^

Hatchet Helmet

^^D8^^

Scoop Be Gone

^^D9^^

Don't Be Like Her - watch carefully...

^^D10^^

Porn may have given me unrealistic expectations of sex but AI-generated house images have given my wife an unrealistic expectation of my carpentry skills.

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I read that tumors can grow hair and teeth and then I ran a Google search for pictures. Don't. Don't do that.

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SUSTENANCE

So, the limit is 412.

*Just kidding. I've never put a chicken nugget in my mouth unless I was sure it was a small piece of actual flesh from the animal.

^^E1^^

^^E2^^

^^E3^^

Just reach over and grab it. They are probably calcium deficient and easily overpowered.

^^E4^^

A real classic as old as the internet...

^^E5^^

^^E6^^

^^E7^^

^^E8^^

^^E9^^

That is why it is a good idea to make friends with the butcher at your grocery store. My wife is on a first-name basis with our butcher and he took very good care of us back when we used to cook.

^^E10^^

^^E11^^

Dough Balls

What are those used for?

^^E12^^


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A man obeys voices only he hears and starts three major religions. You might want to think about that.

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Nice feet.

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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Question: Over the years, you have mentioned the short stories and novels you have written. I think you actually published a link to them at one point.

Have you ever considered using Amazon KDP to publish your stories? It is free and they print on demand (as they sell), so there is no inventory to hold. You get paid as they sell.

I was thinking this might me a great way to make your stories available to the world, and even your grandson.

You could buy a copy of each title for yourself and then give your grandson the published collection, each with an ISBN.

You could even use AI to generate the cover photo of the book if you wanted to save time.I went out to an AI art generator (imagine.art) where you type a description of what you want and it creates the image. I used ChatGPT to create the description for me based on a few words.

I described to Chat-GPT a description of a cover for one of your books
I then took that description and entered it into the image generator.

Can you guess which one it is by the description I used?

"The cover features a beautiful farm located in the southern US in the inner bend of a wide, gently flowing river. The farm is surrounded by lush greenery and the river is lined with tall trees. The sky is painted with warm colors of orange and pink as the sun sets behind the farm".

Too bad we can't upload photos here.

Anyway - technology has provided you a way to quickly publish your works at little to no costs. You would have to pay $20 or $40 to be able to download a high quality image if you chose to use the AI to generate the cover.

Sounds like a fun project to do indoors during this summer's heat.

Anonymous said...

Puzzle Time: I’m torn between saying that a single instance isn’t enough to establish a pattern and fourteen - the amount of different squares that you can define inside the shape.

Anonymous said...

Or protestant or Jewish or Muslim or atheist....

Larry said...

Puzzle time, I came up with 10......

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Book Person,
Thank you for your wonderful suggestion. My appreciation for your kindness can not be overstated. I am sure you are the type of person with which I could spend an enjoyable afternoon in a bass boat.
Nothing but the very best to you and yours.
RH

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Religious Person,
Without the item number, no one has any idea what you are referencing.
RH

JNR said...

B-15
Or Biden

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time 12.5 -Armando

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time 11.25!! -Armando

Anonymous said...

^^B15^^

-Religious Person

Anonymous said...

^^E12^^
What do you mean "What are those used for?"

It's a snack.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear JNR,
Where I come from we have a thing called "proof". If you have it I would like very much to see it. If you don't, then your accusation says a lot more about you than it does Biden.
RH

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Puzzlers,
That puzzle came to me without explanation. I surmised that in the top figure, there are 5 places where the lines cross. I think that is important otherwise why draw it like that. Therefore, the answer is 12.
RH

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time: It is simple. The answer is 14. You must base your answer on what you see in the given example and nothing more. In the given example there are exactly 5 squares.

Therefore, in the puzzle part, all you have to do is count the number of squares. Look closely.
14!

QED

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