FRIDAY #5350

 One Of My Very Own

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As mentioned before, there are two ways to solve problems: 

1. What should I buy to solve this?

2. What do I have that will solve this?

When making my art I am a #2 guy.

I had dozens of wooden eggs left over from a project I did with my students and they have sat on a high shelf for decades.

During my first marriage, I made a knife and fork box that sat on our kitchen counter. I removed the dividers. I got it in the divorce settlement.

I'm toying with making art out of those items and will keep you informed.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Conspiracy theories are not new. When I owned my bars I heard every conspiracy theory that reared its ugly head. I always asked how we would know if they were correct and how long that should take, and when they told me I offered to bet them that it would not happen. NOT ONE of them took my wager. I dare say that all the bullshitters on social media not one of them would bet real money on it either. Don't be a sap.

^^A1^^

SOURCE

Here's what scares me. Those Republicans died because they wanted to own the Libs. And now they are doing the same thing with climate change.

^^A2^^

Think about the people who are opposed to RENEWABLE energy. You just set up the equipment and reap the power. Sunlight and wind will never run out. We can use it forever. Yet people oppose it. Amazing.

^^A3^^

And we all should at least think about this...

^^A4^^

As a matter of fact, Thomas Jefferson said the Constitution should be rewritten every generation.

SOURCE

But what if Trump is elected and tries to restructure the executive branch without checks and balances as he has said he wants to do?

^^A5^^

My nephew was in charge of cyber security for the largest ATM maker and he told me he has no tech in his home other than Wifi.

^^A6^^

^^A7^^

The greatest accomplishment of millennials was in the 90s when they spread a rumor throughout every public school in the world without the use of the Internet or social media that Marilyn Manson had his ribs removed so he could suck his own dick.

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How fucking high was Yanke Doodle when he put a feather in his hat and called it macaroni?

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

*I wonder what it was like for him to live 20 more years without his head.

^^B1^^

Bars and event spaces in Germany — especially those participating in Oktoberfest — have a puke sink.

^^B2^^

In Singapore, some supermarkets use digital price markers, so workers don't have to spend a ton of time replacing all the paper ones.

^^B3^^

Tardigrade Tax

^^B4^^

Voyager

A viewer sent me an interesting video about the aging of the Voyager team. I couldn't upload the video but here's the sight.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6223974/

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I had a long talk with a man who is on the Voyager Scientific Advisory Panel. He said that with every signal they receive from Voyager, they learn something new. I questioned whether there was that much happening way out there and he said, "But if Voyager tells us that at this point in space, nothing is happening, then we learned something that we didn't know." 

^^B5^^

^^B6^^

*OSIT

^^B7^^

Barbara, I hate to tell you but an oyster isn't the nastiest thing I've put in my mouth.

^^B8^^

Cat's toe beans without fur

^^B9^^

Sea Creature

Can someone explain that?

^^B10^^

My phone once filmed a 5-hour documentary about life in my pocket.

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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, “Quit while you’re still ahead?” 

FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY

*MNBT

^^C1^^

^^C2^^

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

^^C5^^

Portapotty

^^C6^^

Trust Issues

I posted that just to watch her arms dangle as she walked out.

^^C7^^

^^C8^^

Those cause me to jump every time.

^^C9^^

^^C10^^

Friend: How long does it take to get there?

The Old Me: About 5 beers.

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I have a dog to make sure that the sounds in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those sounds.

PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING

I once declared a $600 vet bill as a security expense. The dog barked when anyone came on my property so...

^^D1^^

^^D2^^

I almost missed the unusualness.

^^D3^^

Tower Climb

I watched a movie that was set on that very tower.

^^D5^^

Pro Movers

They even knew to open the door to make it fit.

^^D7^^

Paint Mixer

I had a mural partner who took two years of color theory in college. He could match any color, any time.

But I didn't know you could load a spray can with a little machine like that.

^^D8^^

Bottled Water in Chile

^^D9^^

I was worried my kids would never know the joy of a commercial break, and then we got Hulu.

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How is Beauty and the Beast a “tale as old as time”? A lady hooks up with a big dog, and all the candles in the house start talking? I hope that hasn’t happened before.

PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING

^^E1^^

That's how I broke my arm and leg - only I was twenty feet up.

^^E2^^

Can you imagine being without cable TV and Wifi for the weeks it took to fix that?

^^E3^^

^^E4^^

These next two make me wonder about future generations researching their family tree and learning that these relatives died being dumbasses.

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"He was always a bit of a thrill-seeker."

- the preacher at their funeral.

^^E 5-6^^

^^E7^^

Beach Trench

^^E8^^

Camper Salesman

^^E9^^

Hot Roof

And I think he was on live TV.

^^E11^^

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This is a very clever crossword clue so please don't put TRAIN.