About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

TUESDAY #5361

One Of My Very Own

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*MNBT

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT


*My money is on the young people.

^^A1^^

^^A2^^

War, what is it good for?

Here's the look of Bakhmut after being "liberated" by the Russians. Bakhmut is a city in eastern Ukraine.

^^A3^^

^^A4^^

Stressed spelled backward is Desserts.

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I sent one of my novels to a publisher and received a standard rejection letter but at the bottom, it had this: "PS: The only thing your book is any good for is wiping my ass".


FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY


^^B1^^

And that's why guys buy your drinks.

^^B2^^

Speaking of...

^^B3^^

^^B4^^

^^B5^^

^^B6^^

^^B7^^

Little-Known Facts About Donald Trump’s Life -- You may think you know all there is to know about Donald Trump, but you’d be wrong. Here are some little-known facts of this amazing man’s life.

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^^B 8-14^^

Campers deserve everything they get.

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The villain in the bedtime stories I told my children was always the President of the Homeowner's Association.


ART AND THE ARTY


Humor will get attention a simple warning will not.

^^C1^^

^^C2^^

Gigantic Macrame

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

^^C5^^

Remember this?

I really like that.

^^C6^^

^^C7^^

^^C8^^

"This Is Not A Painting! The Photograph Was Taken In 1911 By Francis James Mortimer (1874–1944), A Pioneer Of Pictorial Photography"

^^C9^^

I've got a knack for finding odd juxtapositions and that could be a big boon if I take up photography again.

^^C10^^

They asked an author if he considered his writing magic.

I remember weeping when I killed off a child in one of my novels.

^^C11^^

Ladies, you would be shocked to find out how many of the men you know have stuck their dicks in a rotisserie chicken.

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Whoever named paper towels did a good job.


OBJECTS OF INTEREST


Is each tiny wheel powered independently?

^^D1^^

I was so embarrassed when I found out that the scoop in the belly held a radiator. I thought it was air-cooled and I couldn't figure out how the air got from the scoop to the motor.

^^D2^^

Got grandkids? Buy all of them one of these.

My young grandson now quizzes his mother on the atomic weights of various elements.

^^D3^^

I know it works but it looks like you would hit your head where the slide enters the bottom level.

^^D4^^

I have two old-fashioned relatively cheap wooden screen doors in my house. I put them up 35 years ago and they are still in perfect condition due to the slats I put at elbow, hip, and knee levels. Make sure you paint them before you install them.

^^D5^^

That is...amazing.

^^D6^^

24 Hours

^^D7^^

Let's take another look at this masterpiece...

^^D8^^


It was a meteorite worth $75,000 - hardly a "fortune".

^^D9^^

Lion tries to make a meal out of a baboon and the whole squad strikes back.

Here is a much better view...

^^D10^^

Old age is waking up hungover even though no alcohol was consumed.

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Do you think the washer and dryer are friends or just work together?


HUMAN BEHAVIOR


I wrote this a few days ago:

"I also like to hear people talk about their jobs. I ask many questions but my first is always "What's the hardest part of your job?""

I asked my friend Coy the plumber and he opted to tell me about the only job he simply could not complete. He was called to an old house where lived an old woman who was "smelling an odor". Coy went under the house and the entire crawlspace was full of human shit. The pipe had become dislodged and all of that woman's waste had fallen to the crawlspace...for TWENTY YEARS! He suggested she tear down the house and rebuild.

^^E1^^

Is a key a fashion accessory now?

*Ask the man who uses them for art installations.

^^E2^^

Real or faked - you decide.

^^E3^^

^^E4^^

^^E5^^

To remind you, there is a huge difference between a cloth mask and an N95 mask. You might want to read up on that.

^^E6^^

Ouch!

^^E7^^

^^E8^^

I have witnessed this a thousand times.

^^E9^^

"We Don't Need No Education"

^^E10^^

The Bear and The Idiot

Tell me about his pants.

^^E11^^

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One of my favorites.

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*I've never seen cabinets that open like that.

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

B5: that doesn't make sense. They started out on a 3-hour tour, but that doesn't mean they only were at sea for three hours. If you recall, the weather started getting rough and the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the minnow would be lost.

All we know is that the ship set shore on a tiny desert aisle.

I think we need to know how long the storm lasted. Which way the wind was blowing when the weather started getting rough. Did they have their engines running while the wind was blowing them further out to sea?

The assumptions in the statement bother me.

Anonymous said...

^^D6^^
Until you get hit in the head by a flying coconut.

Anonymous said...

^^D10^^
1. It's a leopard.
2. It's called a troop of baboons.

Anonymous said...

https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/san-francisco-police-union-mission-district-bakery-policy/3303558/

I hope they go broke.

Burgervan said...

pUZZLE TIME: Reverse Cowgirl. (My Favourite). lol

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