ELY (eee-lee), NEVADA

It's EDDIEWORLD!!! A gas station with no clerk...all transactions are conducted with credit card.

Which I thought clever enough to tag with #99.

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A real advertisement on a condom machine in a restroom:

THE SCREAMER

If she's a moaner now, she'll be a screamer...

If she's a screamer now, you'll get arrested.

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Drove six hours today on highways that all looked like this. We saw a car about once an hour. Even Debbie could pee right on the side of the road, since we could see any approaching cars from 20 miles in each direction.

But I discovered the geographical center of Bum Fuck, Egypt. This is it. The three views show all directions at the "intersection".

We got off the asphalt and drove to the foot of this mountain. Then my wife tried to kill me again by making me walk up the path to the top, which was so high that the oxygen level was dangerously low. But she didn't care.

At least I had the good sense to take along my sit-upon-cane. I sat there a long time looking at...

Another meteor crater...this one had blown away half a small mountain.

I thought it most inappropriately named...sounds kind of restful don't it? Whereas the fact is that it is there to torture old men, at least the ones with evil, overly insistent wives. It occurred to me that if anything happened to me, the crows would have had time to peck out my eyes before my wife could have gotten back with assistance, if the thought even occurred to her.

I tagged it with #84 because of the silly name.

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Got into Ely, Nevada and have a great room with a 4 of 4 of our demands.

Went to eat at the Jailhouse Restaurant, which was converted from a real jail and the booths are in the cells. My wife walked all over the restaurant taking pictures for a long time.

When she sat back down at our table, I asked her how she would like it if someone was snapping pictures while she ate and she said that it wouldn't bother her in the least.

Then I got hold of the camera. I just sat it on the table (our of her reach) and flashed it in my wife's eyes from time to time just by tilting it in her general direction.

Then, responding to the guffawing, the waitress offered to take a photo of both of us.

We both decided on the exact same meal (which is unusual), so when the waitress came to take our order I said, "This is the first time we have agreed on anything since I dragged her ass out of that brothel back in '85."

We had a great night, after a great day and that is what this trek is all about.

Note: There was an antique looking sign in the restaurant that read:

BRINGING HOMEMADE BREAD OR CAKES TO PRISONERS WILL BE SUSPECT OF EVIL INTENTIONS.

(I thought that interesting wording)

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And now, random silliness...

Finally, definitive photographic proof of Big Foot...

What if a shoplifting gypsy sets fire to a bag of his shit and throws it at you? They are going to need some more colors...might I suggest cyan?

BP has altered the old adage about the two biggest lies....

1. We are here to help you

2. I promise not to squirt oil in your gulf

She's probably a real nice girl under all that freakishness...

Here's lookin' at ya, kid...

"I want you to beam down to New Orleans and plug that damn leak!" said the Captain.

"But you know what always happens to the new guy in the red shirt, sir," said the new guy in the red shirt.

Plagiarism...because nobody has had an original idea or thought in a long, long time.

And not even a cold beer to knock back after work...DAMN!

(I really respect these guys...you may have figured that out by now)

"62 foot tall "Touchdown Jesus" struck by lightning and burns"...(you can't make shit like that up!!!)

Further, until recently, I would bet money that those words were NEVER arranged in that order.

But if you want freaky...check out the innocent child with her pants down...and you might want to read the accompanying text...it's a hoot...

Dear superstitious nut-jobs,

If this is your idea of sane,

then I am perfectly okay with being crazy.

Sincerely,

A father of two emotionally stable daughters

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