About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, August 13, 2010

1. While eating a banana, no man is allowed to look another man straight in the eye.
2. When using a urinal, the minimal distance to another man is one unoccupied urinal..that's the rule. If there is no unoccupied urinal, then go to another bathroom.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!
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Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging you got a bag of potatoes chips out of a vending machine.
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When I first came across this, I thought it was photoshopped, but then it kept popping up on numerous sites. Shopped or not, it's still rather odd.
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Why do dogs hate it when you blow in their face, but love to stick their heads out of car windows?
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I looked at this next photo for a long, long time without "getting" it. Take a few minutes, then I will give you the answer later on.
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Why do people scream into their cell phones? I mean, we can now stream movies off satellites in outer space. Let's just all use our inside voices....YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!
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ANOTHER PAINTED WOMAN!!!
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What kind of guy would pay 50 million dollars to watch two girls go at it? Any guy with 50 million dollars.
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This man received this 1928 Rolls-Royce as a graduation gift from his father and has been driving it ever since. He's 102.
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My friend, Bruce, does business in China. He received this email from his contact.
Dear Kelly, God it's so good to hear from you. Sorry I have not written in so long but I having trouble with my Japanese boss. He have trouble in the head."
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If you don't know who this is, then I can almost guarantee you that you have never been stoned.
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Never hesitate to take the last slice of pizza or the last beer...but NEVER both. It's bad form.
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COTTON?!?!?!?!?
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The body of France's most famous chef has been found hidden in a freezer.
Police made the gruesome discovery after the girlfriend of retired restaurant boss Jean-Francois Poinard revealed "something unfortunate" had happened to him.
The body of the 71-year-old is believed to have been in the freezer at his Lyon flat for up to two years.
Mr Poinard's ex-girlfriend, Guylene Collober, 51, made the confession to her daughter on a drunken night out. The daughter called the police who raided the flat.
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In the digital age you are either a one or a zero.
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PITTSBURGH (AP) - A judge is considering whether a Pittsburgh-area man can legally change his name to Boomer the Dog
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This is worth the read. Very novel this... *****
World's record for riding a roller coaster naked....YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!! *****
Go to a job you hate, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law.
Repeat after me: I am free.
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"Colonel Sanders has found Jesus." Those zany Chinese aren't far wrong... *****
This is the house from above. I assume you, as I, thought the circles were computer generated. There was a hint in the original photo, however. Part of the top circle is missing due to a gap in the eave. If you figured it out, please let me know in the comments below. *****

Police in Buffalo arrested 51-year-old Gary L. Korkuc after they pulled him over for blowing through a stop sign, and found four-year-old Navarro marinating in his trunk in a mixture of oil, crushed red peppers, chili pepper and salt...So why would Korkuc want to eat his cat? According to a memo from the staff at the local SPCA, obtained by the Buffalo News, Korkuc said he no longer wanted Navarro because the cat was "possessive, greedy and wasteful." He told police that Navarro was mean to him.

(When a man can't eat his greedy cat if he so chooses, then we are no longer truly free!)
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One of my very own...

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As of early this week, many of the destructive wildfires sweeping at least 13 provinces in western Russia were still out of control. About 550 blazes are still burning, 40 of them surrounding Moscow. Heavy, poisonous smog has led to an average of 700 deaths per day in Russia’s capital. There is also fears that the fires around Chernobyl could send radioactivity up with the smoke.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ralph- the animal photo is supposed to be the Grimm fairy tale- the Bremmen (sp?) town musicians.

Your lunch buddy.

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