One
Of My Very Own…
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
No need to post plates of food, we
are all eating the same shit.
Movie titles altered to Thanksgiving
Air travel...damn.
>
3D printed 'gear box'
>
A guy told me that he came out to his parents during a
huge family Thanksgiving gathering and he wasn't even gay. He just thought he would
like to see where the pieces fell.
>
They're described as
"anomalies," reflecting the nature of the non-invasive technology
used to try and see into the stone of the Egyptian pyramids. But what exactly
do the temperature differences reveal? Voids that could be hidden chambers
within the ancient monuments.
The investigation has found
one "particularly impressive" anomaly at the Khufu pyramid. The
results have come just two weeks into Operation Scan Pyramids, which will last
until the end of 2016. The scientific mission uses noninvasive visualization
techniques, including 3-D scans with lasers and drones, to see inside the
pyramids.
>
Glowing orb of electricity
>
I'm thinking all those were "cultured", meaning starter pearls were carefully placed inside the oyster...
>
Perfect one night stand:
Amish person.
No internet access.
No phones.
In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple
butter.
>
Wait for it...
>
Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip "Syrian Refugee 1
and 2" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.
>
>
Gorilla sees his buddies
playing in the rain. Decides to have a go.
>
"You know that's not even a word, right?" I
said, condescendingatively.
>
Is she also blind?
>
The first place I had sex in was in my imagination.
>
I've posted this before.
She is standing on a slippery board damn near bare footed. Dayum
>
>
>
My wife thought that because the automatic hand dryer
doesn't turn on for her, that her new diet was really working…and I didn't feel
like bursting her bubble.
>
Eye healed after corneal
transplant surgery
>
I'll take: "Things you
probably shouldn't do but it'll look really cool for a 1000, Bob."
>
Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that
he blurs the line between comedy and horror.
>
>
You send these people a picture of a face and they turn it into a cookie cutter.
>
Me: How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?
Wife: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325
degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!
>
How the hell did he do that?
>
French Resistance fighters
man a barricade in Paris (August, 1944).
>
In American politics, what's important is that you pick
one of two equally bad sides and defend it no matter the awful garbage it
produces.
>
>
I'm pregaming for Thanksgiving by eating 15 ham steaks and
yelling at someone's family.
>
>
If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage
you have no one to blame but yourself.
>
Could we discuss Done To Death, please.
>
Need a Christmas present idea?
The Womanizer is a new, $189
sex toy billed as a "clitoral stimulator." While woman reviewers
universally hate the name and many dislike the leopard-spotted finish, they are
universal in their acclaim of the Womanizer's ability to give them fast,
powerful orgasms.
>
I wish people randomly offered me weed as often as middle
school D.A.R.E. classes said they would.
>
>
There's seldom a fun word that follows "early
onset."
>
>
The number of people who confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is two
damn high.
>
A clock.
>
A touch pad on the back of
the phone.
What a wonderful idea. You guide the cursor with a touchpad on the back.
Here, take my money.
>
Sleeping crew aboard the
Space Shuttle looks pretty creepy.
>
People who leave their underwear at parks, what's up with
that?
>
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
>
Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace,
I wonder how people are supposed to imitate them on the dance floor.
>
This could be my baby's
first gun
Why should ISIS come shoot
up America when we are doing a fine job of doing it ourselves.
>
Tiger reunited with
previous owner 10 years after being set free.
And in related news...
>
You take the high road...
>
So in conclusion, the burglars in Home Alone 2 absolutely
would have died. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
>
>
I have no idea but I did
think it was a cool thing to write on a wall.
>
I Wonder Where That Corn
Has Been.
>
No more bopping field mice
on the head for you, Foo Foo.
>
Why did the thumbs-up become the universal symbol for
approval? "Hey let me show you my weirdest finger because I'm down with
what you are saying."
>
>
This Italian building.
>
I signed up for the cheapest life insurance I could find,
it entitles my family to a tray of Wendy’s hamburgers when i die.
>
>
In 2001, Patrick Hardison
entered a burning home on a rescue search, the roof collapsed on him and his
firefighter's mask burned onto his face.
Boy, do I have something for you...
Just kidding.
A team of 150 at the New
York University Langone Medical Center performed the "most extensive"
face transplant surgery in history.
By the way, the guy who donated the face also donated nearly every other organ in his body.
And more astoundingly, it wasn't just the face. All the skin from the base of the neck up was removed in one piece on both the dead guy and the live guy, and then the donor's flesh was sewn on the live guy. Damn.
And more astoundingly, it wasn't just the face. All the skin from the base of the neck up was removed in one piece on both the dead guy and the live guy, and then the donor's flesh was sewn on the live guy. Damn.
>
No comments:
Post a Comment