Chairman Of Joint Chiefs Of Staff Says National Debt Is Biggest Threat To National Security

(you probably need to enlarge this)

A. The greatest threat to the nation's security is represented by current economic policies;

B. All members of the military take an oath to " solemnly swear (or affirm) to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic";

C. Ergo, a military coup is Constitutionally protected, if not actually mandated, to rectify such an existential threat.

__________________________________________________________________

"When I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands.

At forty I could bend it ten degrees if I tried really hard.

At fifty I could bend it about forty-five degrees, no problem.

Now that I'm sixty I can bend it in half with one hand."

"What's your point?"

"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get?!?!"

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

The description is funny, but wouldn't you at least sweep the snow off first?

___________________________________________________________________

This very problem has caused deaths when people try to rock the machine and it crushes them...

___________________________________________________________________

The knit bandit is back. I'm just wondering how long it took him/her to do this. My guess is that it's a team. Either way to threaten to arrest the culprit is insane. I find it delightful.

___________________________________________________________________

STATESVILLE, NC (WBTV) – A man who was with about a dozen people who were looking for a legendary “ghost train” in Iredell County was hit by a locomotive and killed early Friday morning.

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

I wonder if the fleeing culprit can out run Mr. 9mm?

___________________________________________________________________

(I knew it! I just KNEW IT!!!)

___________________________________________________________________

If you don't remember Charlie, it's okay...it really is...

___________________________________________________________________

"What ya doin'?"

"Just hangin' around."

___________________________________________________________________

- Black women get twice as many bachelor degrees than black men

- Only 35% of black children live in two parent homes

- 24% of white 8th graders watch 4 or more hours of TV daily; 59% of blacks do

- By age 4, black children hear 35 million less words than a 4 year old from a professional family

- 70% of black babies are born to single mothers

- 42% of black women, when licked on the forearm, taste like lasagna with too much oregano.

(that last one was just to see if you were paying attention)

___________________________________________________________________

Anybody want to help me out with the meaning of the number 42? I need help. I've been challenged and come up unworthy.

___________________________________________________________________

Christianity has its nut cases too. But we recognize that they are just that...nut cases. We are less forgiving of the nut cases of other religions, condemning them all for the actions of a few.

___________________________________________________________________

Fetishes are only kinky the first time...

___________________________________________________________________

I like to hire babysitters even though I don't have any kids at home anymore. I tell her that the kids are asleep upstairs, then I leave. When I get back I go upstairs and then ask her where the kids are. It's worth the money spent just to see the look on their faces.

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

1% of tornados in the western hemisphere spin backwards.

___________________________________________________________________

Yes, it's porn. And yes he was busted.

___________________________________________________________________

Two from my old friend juxtaposition....

___________________________________________________________________

When I took my young family to Disney World, it was about 105 degrees. I, having worked outdoors on murals all summer, was used to it, but no one else in the whole county was. I've never seen so many miserable people in my life.

___________________________________________________________________

One of my very own...

___________________________________________________________________

Those zany Russians....(men will find this MUCH more funny than women)...