About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Many years ago the wife of a friend was getting ready for an outdoor brunch party and ran out of hair spray.  Back then women used A LOT of hair spray.  She called her neighbor to see if she could borrow some and was told that the neighbor was out also.  But the neighbor told her that she sometimes boils water, adds sugar, then puts that concoction in a spray bottle.  So my friend's wife did just that.  The man and wife became separated during the party and when the man met up with her later her head was covered in moths, butterflies, bees, etc.  It seemed that no one had the nerve to tell the poor woman, so the critters just kept accumulating.  They theorized that the sun had re-melted the sugar and her do had become as sticky as it was attractive to the critters. This image brought the story back to mind.

No matter what you do, you will never be as awesome as this guy...


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


PETA's board chairman's chair...

Last night I couldn't sleep so I got up for a smoke and turned on TV.  It was a rerun of Larry King.  He had five brain scientists who were discussing addictions and stress and the affect on the brain.  Larrry made this comment:
"While I was in the hospital for bypass surgery, a doctor came in my room and said that heart surgeons were just plumbers and that brain surgeons, like himself, were better because with just one slip of the knife they could change your whole memory.  Well, I told him that no one has ever sang I Left My Brain, in San Francisco."
Then he added:
"Seriously, isn't it true that we all just follow our hearts?"
(the man was serious....seemingly oblivious to EVERYTHING the scientists had been discussing for an hour)

I had to think about this next one for a minute...


The way I see it, somebody has to back up...

Now what?

There is a lunatic on You Tube who declares that Rachel Maddow is a vampire.  He offers as "proof" the bite marks on her neck.

*****
I was once planning a party for the faculty at my school.  I knew one of the teachers was a vegetarian so I asked her if she could eat chicken...no.  Fish? No.  Shrimp? No.  Finally she stated as a fact that she didn't eat anything with a face, so I suggested oysters.  She didn't find any humor in the suggestion.
This was the same woman, upon learning that I had worked on nuclear missiles for a while, said that all weapons were just phallic symbols, then listed: bullets, spears, knives, cannons, etc.  I said that probably early on men threw tacos at their enemies, but it just didn't hurt.
*****

One of my very own...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to say that the little story about the vegetarian had me laughing out loud for a few minutes. Bruce

Anonymous said...

Hi, very interesting post, greetings from Greece!

Anonymous said...

Hey - I am really delighted to discover this. Good job!

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