"Take my wife....please."

I love my wife more than any man has ever loved a woman.  That's not bragging...that's a fact.

We lived together before we had the ceremony and back then we used to rock and roll...if you catch my drift.

 

Once during a hell of a thunderstorm, we were driving through campus when school was not in session.  I noticed that the 7 story parking garage was completely empty, so I drove up to the roof top level and in the middle of all that booming thunder and intense lightning we....well, did what two naked people do in the back seat of a car.

But as is the general rule about such things...

...a policeman, who I imagine was just making his rounds, drove up next to our car.  My wife just rolled down the window and yelled that we were just having some fun and could we have some privacy.  And...he...just...drove....away.  When we "finished" we found him on the next level "guarding" us.  I thought that was a classy thing for him to do.

It took some time before my wife got used to having loaded weapons in the house.  She would agree with the poster below.

My counter argument is that the woman would be dead with or without a gun....unless, of course, she was the one holding it.
We both share a healthy disrespect for the trivial and believe that a clean, neat house is a sign of a wasted life.
When she's out of town I like to watch Judge Judy while eating Wheaties out of an empty mixed nuts can....while naked...just to make her laugh when I tell her.
I found it very amusing that one of the trapped Chilean miners was busted when both his wife and his mistress showed up at the adit to conduct a vigil for him.  It's my guess that he will be the last man out of that mine.  My wife knows she has never had to fear that from me.
Once I heard her tell a friend, "Yeah, Ralph might hit me.......once.  Then I would be going, Aren't you sleepy, dear."  I believe her.
My wife was so extraordinarily enthusiastic about Obama, that I voted for him also.  But he has deeply disappointed me and I think he will be a one-termer.

Coming soon to a theater near you.

My wife will not like that last joke.  She will like the next one.  We both think getting old is cause to cachinnate with great gusto.

She has a huge respect for the military.  She's been known to buy uniformed troops she didn't know meals and drinks.  But then again, so do I.  I just don't hug them like she does.

PHOTO REMOVED UPON REQUEST

My wife never had children of her own, so she just adopted mine.  Not in a legal sense, but in every other way.  She loves them as much as I.

She was in the newspaper today.  I will let it speak for itself.

“For the past 18 years, we have donated thousands of items to charitable organizations or other thrift stores,” said owner Debbie McDaniel, who also owns Revente and Sid and Nancy clothing consignment shops in Five Points. “It finally dawned on me: This is ridiculous. Why don’t we open a store and donate all the proceeds.”

“They help these people get back into a job situation and get their lives back on track,” McDaniel said. “I have heard so many stories; I have cried so much in the last two weeks. There’s just so much need.”

I am extraordinarily proud of her efforts.  She is the kindest person I've ever known.

And lastly, my wife and I have a running gag about invisible UFO's looking down and watching the profound, unrestrained goofiness of us together at home and assuming that all of humanity is like us.  We always laugh at the prospect.

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