FUN WITH LANGUAGE: Part One

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Today I was driving my golf cart to the American Legion and I passed (past?) a house that usually had children playing in front of it. When I neared them the oldest (a 10 year old girl) yelled, "Heeeeeey, Santeee Claus!" with a drawl right out of the bayou or Pelion...it's hard to discern the difference. Without missing a beat I yelled back, "Heeeey, little redneck girl." 

Her mother looked displeased, but I disarmed her with my smile.

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 That has happened to me more than once, but I was man enough not to call the cops!

Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.

A new study found that couples who were together for an average of 40 years knew less about each other than newlyweds.

Often I think to myself, You know what, Ralph? You're a really simple guy with very basic needs. Congratulate yourself with some beer.

 Clever little crepuscular bastard, ain't he?

Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - A. Einstein

 Yet they swallow this debasing viand of social mores.

One of my very own...

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