MORE FUN WITH LANGUAGE

(or as I call it...a day off)

Dear 3 am,
We have got to stop meeting this way.
I'd much rather sleep with you.

 (Note: A Fleshlight is a male masturbation aid.)

I told my wife that I like her ass and even like the part above her ass....the part that makes me a sandwich.

DO NOT stand behind this woman at the airport!

On the 8th day god said, "Ah, hell, close enough."

The Pill: The second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.

An African athlete has been banned from the Olympics after testing positive to a performance enhancing substance.......................food.
(this next one is an example of European humor)
What separates humans from the animals?  The Mediterranean.

(holy fucking shit, ya'll, this shit is serious!)

Adam: The only lucky bastard whose mother-in-law never existed.

Any ship can be a minesweeper..................once.

Bottle water has a markup of 4000%.

The Emancipation Proclamation is being sold at auction......give that a minute and you may be able to ferret out the irony.

(I couldn't have said it better myself)

One of my very own....

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