INANE, LAME, INTELLECTUALLY INSULTING, TRITE CRAP THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH

(I call it another day off)

(Which I couldn't get away with if this was a real blog)

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(Had a great time at a poker game last night...haven't laughed so much in a long time. My advice to you is; hang out with intelligent, funny people.  It's better that way.)

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Remember "Smiling Cigar Guy" from the Tiger Wood photo? He won't go away...

Oh, dear god!!!

If you think this is a gun....look again.  It's not important that you know it's not a real gun, it's only important that the other people DON'T know that it's NOT a real gun...

What that tells me, my friend, is that you are expendable.

This man owns one of every kind of Super Soaker ever made, 

therefore your argument is invalid.....

Why does asparagus make your pee taste funny?

In a bar fight, I want this guy on my side....

You go, your popeness....if you got it....flaunt it!!!

I know this is lame, but the juxtaposition of the words 

"shoots" and "testicles" was just too alluring....

(she might be your cousin, boy, but you have to strike when the opportunity presents itself....even if her daddy will choke you to fucking death)

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

(seriously, I loved that movie)

TRUE: This is what gravy wrestling looks like in England...........GRAVY........WRESTLING....

Why the fuck not?

This man has a Tramp Stamp........No, no, no...........NOOOOOOO!!!!

I have no idea why anyone but me would want to look at the following images...

I planned to have sex with my wife then take her to a movie; but she wouldn't go what with all those handcuff marks on her wrists and ankles.

When I get on stage I take on a whole new persona. It's amazing how one second I'm just an Average Joe, and the next I'm the guy getting the shit getting beat out of him by security.

TRUE: I heard on a Discovery Channel show this quote: "...and what the scientists have discovered about astroids is earth shattering."

I saw a bum checking Facebook at the library the other day. It was so sad seeing him get an error message every time he clicked "home".

My morning walk is usually very boring, but this morning I watched two bums make love. This portable DVD player is worth every penny.

One of my very own....

I have received a special request from Alex, a young man serving our country, for something naughty.  Well, I found this image of my old circle of friends back when I was in college and it sure brought back a lot of memories.

(I actually got this from an art photography web site I frequent. And this is the ONLY really naughty image to make their cut.  I found it.........impressive....on multiple levels.

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