HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Sarah Hale, the author of Mary Had a Little Lamb, crusaded for a national day of thanks which ultimately gave us Thanksgiving.

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In the last few decades, the Detroit Lions have built more stadiums than they have playoff wins. Yet I have to watch these inept bastards EVERY Thanksgiving. It just ain't right, ya'll.

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  PEOPLE NOT LIKE US

This man can aim and shoot a pistol...well, see for yourself...

We call this Nirvana.... 

HOLY SHIT, YA'LL!!!

"Hey, look, ya'll. Fred's on fire. I never seen a man burn alive before."

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

I would have loved to have seen that...

If you don't know who these two men are, it's okay...it really, really is...

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TSA NEW SLOGAN OPTIONS
Wanna fly? Drop your fly.
We handle more balls than Barney Frank.
We are now free to move about your pants.
It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.
You were a virgin.
We handle more packages than UPS.
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WINTER

 I once leased a truck, and a hail storm dinged it up, but not as badly as the car in the picture above. I was amazed when a van from the insurance company pulled up in my driveway and wrote me a check for $2500 on the spot. Well, I never got around to fixing the dings. Weeks before I had to turn the truck back in to the dealer I didn't wash it, so that the dirt covered the dings. They never saw them and I pocketed the money. Am I a bad person?

It's called the South, folks. Move there.

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OBJECTS WORTH LOOKING AT

It's a unicycle trainer...

It's a "Home Improvement" Wilson costume.

It must see the Loizeaux family coming.

"Run, Florence, Run!"

I really, really, really like this...

This is the gold plate they put on Voyager. 

A white couple. Go figure.

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OOPS

At first I thought these tracks were made by a hotdogging four-wheeler...

Big mess, Lane One in 5....4....3....

Can you even imagine this? I would love to see the casualty figures on this practice.

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PEOPLE WITH MARKERS

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COUPLES COPING

Apparently yes...is that a slide rule? I bet most of you don't even know what a slide rule is.

My Uncle Bill was the funniest man I have ever met. When his wife asked him to do something, he would say, "You see what happens when you let them ride in the front seat? They start think themselves equals."

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DIAGRAMS TO AMUSE

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SOMETHING YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

  My wife talked me into going to Alaska a few years ago. I was so averse to the idea that she bribed me by letting me fly first class - her sitting in the back with the commoners. When we landed in Anchorage, we rented a travel home and set out to see the sights. I loved it. 

  Come to find out we went at exactly the right time of years - the first three weeks in June. Before that and there's too much snow. After that the place is overrun with tourist. We found none. Sometimes we would be the only campers in an entire 80 space park. After that also, believe it or not, the mosquitoes will eat you alive. Alaskan mosquitoes are not like the little pests in the southern US. These things are as big as hummingbirds and can (will) bite you right through your clothing - not matter what you are wearing. They are used to getting through caribou hide, so a coat, shirt and undershirt pose them no difficulty. 

  Anyway, one day we pulled up to a small river that was about thirty feet across. We didn't know it at the time, but a couple of hundred yards up river the ice on a lake was breaking up. So without warning I'm sitting there drinking a beer and ice started down the river. It looked very similar to the image below. It would damn up until the pressure got too great, then crash forward. During this oft repeated process ice slabs would mount one another. At one point there was a huge slab as big as a living room floor tilted up 6 inches off the water near the shore, and I could see that the bottom was not flat as I suspected. There was thousands of tiny icicles hanging down. Further, when smaller chunks of ice made their way under the slab and collided with the icicles, it sounded like the most beautiful wind chime I have ever heard.

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

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