NEW FORMAT TO ENSPIRIT YOUR WEAL
I've been told that people like postings with a single theme. The problem is that I don't like the single theme format. Let's try this.
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COUNTER-PROTESTORS
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WORDS TO LIVE BY
The average person needs 2000 calories. A calorie is defined as a single unit of shame.
There are many types of food, some of which are pies. The rest of which should be pies.
As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy.
Things not to say immediately following a one night stand: "That was fun. It's been so long since I've done it for free."
Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.
It's simple really. Would you rather enjoy sixty years or endure for ninety.
You're only as old as the girl you can convince to sleep with you.
I always hold my wife's hand when we go out...otherwise she shops.
The loftier the goal, the likelier the crash.
When I get on an elevator, I always check the roof for an emergency exit.
I got kicked out of paintball today. Apparently strapping grenades to yourself and running towards the enemy shouting "ALLAHU AKBAR" is inappropriate.
TRUE: Scientists wanted to see what was happening in the brain during an orgasm, and as they put it "13 women and 7 men managed to get the timing down perfect during an MRI." It was not explained if they were partnered or self-stimulated. But, frankly, I'm still impressed. Have you ever been in an MRI?
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CARTOONS OF THE DAY
WORDS TO LIVE BY
The average person needs 2000 calories. A calorie is defined as a single unit of shame.
There are many types of food, some of which are pies. The rest of which should be pies.
As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy.
Things not to say immediately following a one night stand: "That was fun. It's been so long since I've done it for free."
Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.
It's simple really. Would you rather enjoy sixty years or endure for ninety.
You're only as old as the girl you can convince to sleep with you.
I always hold my wife's hand when we go out...otherwise she shops.
The loftier the goal, the likelier the crash.
When I get on an elevator, I always check the roof for an emergency exit.
I got kicked out of paintball today. Apparently strapping grenades to yourself and running towards the enemy shouting "ALLAHU AKBAR" is inappropriate.
TRUE: Scientists wanted to see what was happening in the brain during an orgasm, and as they put it "13 women and 7 men managed to get the timing down perfect during an MRI." It was not explained if they were partnered or self-stimulated. But, frankly, I'm still impressed. Have you ever been in an MRI?
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CARTOONS OF THE DAY
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NEW PRODUCTS
It's a clock that spells out the time...
NEW PRODUCTS
It's a clock that spells out the time...
Thermal sensitive tile...
This is a great idea...
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SCIENCE
This child lost her arm in an accident. It was too mangled to reattach, so they grafted it onto her leg until she was well enough to reattach the arm. Beautiful!
SCIENCE
This child lost her arm in an accident. It was too mangled to reattach, so they grafted it onto her leg until she was well enough to reattach the arm. Beautiful!
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TRUE: There is a Problem-solving Bacteria that can solve sudoku puzzles. They use colors instead of numbers, but it must determine that it is not in alignment with a family member.
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TRUE: There is a Problem-solving Bacteria that can solve sudoku puzzles. They use colors instead of numbers, but it must determine that it is not in alignment with a family member.
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(I love these things)
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SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME.
I am an avid crossword puzzle enthusiast. I also hate meetings. As a teacher in public schools, I was asked to attend more meetings than you can image. I took legal pads and taped crossword puzzles to each page starting on page three or four. Then I would sit right in the front and hold my pad up and solve the puzzles. The beauty of this is that when I had to stop and think a minute, I would look at the speaker and when I wrote something in the grid, the speaker thought I was taking notes. Why did I sit in the front? Well, I knew the people behind me, whereas if I sat in the back someone could have slinked in and busted me....also I like to show off my cleverness to my fellow teachers.
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SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME.
I am an avid crossword puzzle enthusiast. I also hate meetings. As a teacher in public schools, I was asked to attend more meetings than you can image. I took legal pads and taped crossword puzzles to each page starting on page three or four. Then I would sit right in the front and hold my pad up and solve the puzzles. The beauty of this is that when I had to stop and think a minute, I would look at the speaker and when I wrote something in the grid, the speaker thought I was taking notes. Why did I sit in the front? Well, I knew the people behind me, whereas if I sat in the back someone could have slinked in and busted me....also I like to show off my cleverness to my fellow teachers.
Further, tonight after dinner I suggested an alternative method of doing something to my wife. She said that I was "pretty" smart to think of it. I said, "Pretty smart? PRETTY SMART?!? I've had requests to donate my brain to the university to see if I have more folds or an extra lobe or something to explain my phenomenal intelligence...and you use the words "PRETTY SMART"?!?!?!"
I walked out of the room, counted to ten, then walked back in...she had still not smiled. So I walked up to the table and screamed, "NOT EVEN ONE FUCKING SMILE?!?!?! Do you know how much energy I just expended to put a smile on your face?"
She then laughed loudly and it was all worthwhile.
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WARRIORS
The shirtless anti-war protestor is Frank Plada. He was later killed in Vietnam.
The crutches help the legless man. The legless man helps the armless man. The hospital helps them both. We help the hospital. Any questions?
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FUN WITH FOREIGNERS
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| (PUNCHING A JANITOR AGAIN!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!) |
(this is well worth the read)
(walked out of her vagina.....YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!)
(NEUROTIC?!?!?!)
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FUN WITH ENGLISH
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FUN WITH ENGLISH
(what was that second one again?)
And your point is?
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POLICE BLOTTERS
(read to the last two words)
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POLICE BLOTTERS
(read to the last two words)
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ART
ART
Some more from that Chinese guy who paints himself into near invisibility.
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OLD PEOPLE I COULD TOLERATE
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SOME JUST PLAIN FUNNY SHIT
There's a joke in here, people....
This motherfucker is just showing off...
If you don't know what this means, it's okay...it really, really is...
One of my very own...
ARCHERS WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...
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