About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, December 31, 2010

FUN WITH ANIMALS

I have tried several times to demonstrate to you how "Chicken McNuggets" and other such "food" is made. It disgusts me to the point of horripilation and it should disgust you no matter how well you fletcherize your food....but I can still laugh about it.

Even though this illustrates the exact opposite of my views, I give it kudos for cleverness.

WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING ON TV....

This image is not all that funny, but when I looked at it I thought about this probably being the only place within a million fucking miles from my house to party...I really like the skinny little lilac arrow pointing visitors to the front, wood plank door....and elk or reindeer or whatever the fuck those are.

Nice twist....

This just illustrates that not all blonds are stupid...
( I tried to do some research to find out if those were shark or dolphin fins....it is not all that easy to find the difference...sorry )

Yes, this is a fake leg, a true lagniappe, for a three legged elephant.
Now don't say you didn't learn anything about eleemosynary assistance today.

Have you ever seen an elephant pull a plow?  Me neither. But my guess is that he would eat your entire crop and more.

This is, I assume, photoshopped...but still weird as shit...refuting the firmest eschatological convictions...

This is NOT photoshopped...it's just a photo snapped at just the right time from just the right place...

There were dozens of images of these two guys. A puppy was raised right along side a tiny  lion cup. Unsurprisingly, they fight A LOT...That puppy is in for a really big surprise one of these days.

I would never kick a dog out of one of my bars....or is the dog the Gambrinus purveyor?

This has GOT to hurt...probably leaving her unable to retain a single specific engram of normal human identity...
*****
TRUE STORY
I was sitting at a table in my favorite pizza place tonight when someone said that a person they knew had been diagnosed with Bi-Polar. Someone else asked what that was and it was explained that it is when you are either really, really up or really, really down.
I said, "I have a dick like that."
Some of those present thought it funnier than others.
*****
SCIENCE STUFF

Lightning researcher Joseph Dwyer used a 1,500 pound homemade x-ray camera capable of snapping ten million images per second in order to capture the very FIRST x-ray images of an actual lightning strike.

CHECK THIS OUT...

*****

NEW OBJECTS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

This could certainly make me become dithyrambic about transportation again..

There is, in fact, a site on Google that you can tour the various landing sites on the moon; complete with footsteps, equipment left behind, etc.

This is a very good idea to get traction on snow....and cheap....

*****

THE 
"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS SHIT" 
OF THE DAY

These are called "Man Garders" and they do exactly what it looks like they do.
QUESTION: Have we all lost our collective fucking minds?
 I'm sorry, I can't let that go....that is the most stupid thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I understand fashion demands and peer pressure and all that bullshit, but this is lunacy, folks. PURE FUCKING LUNACY!!!

 
Okay, pay atttention:
The two guys above "raced" from San Francisco to New York City entirely on Google Street View.  Think about that.
It took 90 hours and 104,000 clicks.
WOW! Sure to cause strabismus!
( if you don't know what Google Street View is, thus how to "move" down the street...then fuck your ignorant ass )

*****

WORDS TO LIVE BY


One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...
________________________________________________________________

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