About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, January 31, 2011

THINGS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD

Interesting that...



"I don't agree with the concept of award ceremonies, but I'm prepared to make an exception for the ones I'm nominated for. The last time there was a naked man covered in gold paint in my house, it was me."
 - Banksy, in an official statement concerning his directorial debut Exit Through The Gift Shop being nominated for an Oscar.
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CLEANING REALLY BIG THINGS

Will the snow never stop?!?!

You heard it here first, folks.
Isn't he..................................lovely.
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TRUE HEADLINE
Miriam Smith Killed Dog For Chewing On Bible: Nephew's Pit Bull Hanged From Tree, Burned To Death
(TRUE - I swear to..... whatever)
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If you don't know why that was funny.....then get the fuck off my blog because you are not wanted. 
So there!
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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

"...but happy birthday anyway..."
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Mr. Hart Fisher once published a series of comic books about Jeffrey Dahmer.
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LUST: It's just slut misspelled
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Jeeeeeeeez. If you don't know what tossed salad is, ask your husband....if he's ever been in prison.

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Proofreading is of the utmost impotence
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 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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Don't think of it as a padded cell...think of it as a pillow fort
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I've been looking for a guy like you....not you....a guy like you
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That the tattoo is misspelled is not near as funny as misspelling that statement...
I think he did it on purpose.
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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. 
- Einstein (TRUE)
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WORDS TO INSPIRE


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ARTWORK YOU PROBABLY WON'T GET


This guy took an abandoned building off Highway 90 in the desert of Marfa, Texas and did this...
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Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. 
- Bob Marley
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My fucking neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. Can you believe that?!? 2:30Am!! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.
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Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. 
- Anne Frank
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The above Banksy or "Banksyesque" statement would surely lead to this...
 Corporate shit everwhere....oooooor juvenile bullshit...like finding cool shit on the internet and putting it out for others to read....sort of like I do......
oooooor they start painting you (your body....really) in the name of free-style art....yeah, right. 
The reasons are simple...the corporations have the money to hire people to plaster their shit EVERYWHERE and the young have the free time to go it alone plastering their adolescent reposted shit.
Sorry, Banksy and Banksy wantabes, but (sorry, Lara) I say leave my property alone unless you have my permission. 
I've painted hundreds of mural and always had premission...it can be done.

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When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. 
- Jimmy Hendrix
This whole thing breaks down when you find out that some people really, honestly do love their Abrams Tanks. 
Then you end up taking your "power of love" thing into a cave and scratch for grubs while the "love of power thing" sorts things out........then you ask for permission to emerge out of the dank and darkness.
 Thank you, but I'm not the first person to figure that out: Your Loving Friend....until the shit hits the fan, Ralph

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An art professor had a camera implanted in the back of his head to broadcast everything he "sees" to the public from the rear. 
Just think, ten years ago you could get committed to an institution for far less. 
I say, "FUCK YOU, go find a real job."
And really, who the fuck cares what the other guy's face looks like who is fucking him in the ass?
Let it gooo.....let it go.
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Time moves in one direction, memory in another.
Just like my penis....uuuummmm.
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"Tomorrow is our permanent address."
Unless you only live for today, in which case all your little "one-liners to live by" sound suspiciously like what your Aunt Margaret, the alki, used to say right before she puked on your new Sony while simultaneously doing thing to the coat rack that I would rather not discuss.
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Be kind whenever possible. And it's always possible. - Dalai Lama


I liked that statement until I got to thinking....


Dear Dalai,
Do you ever actually go outside?
Your raped daughter


The Dalai Lamas are declared a god when he was a mere baby....yeah right.  Some guys go around the world looking for the "chosen one" then when he's found he is...annointed.
  Isn't that silly?


Now go back and read your bible. Jesus was "chosen" at birth by the Magi.


Logic, people.  Think...really think about the logic.


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You can easily judge the character of someone by the way they treat those who can do nothing for them.
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Happiness is free
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You like "Normal" art like this?

 Check out the signature.


There are hundreds of images like these on line. It's called photo-overlay, where people take old images and go find where they were taken and what it looks like now.
When I was in Paris I bought a postcard of the Monet painting below. I moved around for a long time until I figured out exactly his exact perspective...but I was a little bit too high while standing. And when I squatted slighted I found my ass on a bench...THE bench he must have sat on to paint the picture.
(believe it or not, I'm very good at stuff like that)

One of my very own...
(If I may be so bold....that was very funny...just let it go and laugh)


WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...
Do you remember when beautiful women used to look at you like this?
...............................................Me neither.
 You know who she is?
 She's the neighbor that suddenly appears in the State Farm commercial.


(from one of my most trusted advisors...note the lube bottle on her table....you go girl!!!)
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