About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

THINGS I CAN ONLY ASSUME YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE MOVIE "HOME ALONE".


*****
Dear, dear concerned readers, I did not Tase myself. I am fine. It was a joke...so please stop with all the "Get Well Soon" cards and emails.
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SIGN OF THE DAY
Read it twice

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TEES TO AMUSE...HOPEFULLY


What the fuck does this mean?
Define "IT"...


You know what's funny about that last T-shirt? 
My wife tells me that male homosexual lovemaking is completely normal, natural and beautiful, then when I suggest that I can go anal with her she freaks out and uses words like disgusting and degrading, and ends the discussion with: "Are you out of your fucking mind, you fucking pervert?"
WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH THAT?

FUCK YOU! How about you get your pert surgery-enhanced ass up in the cockpit and give the pilot a blow job so we can get upgraded to first class?


 And good luck with that whole intercourse thing, Sparky.



This T-Shirt helps direct a back scratcher to the correct location of the itch.

(This one is for The Boy)

 WHAT HAPPENS? 
Vaginal odor so gross it'd empty a Turkish hash house?
Knees with rug burns the size of pancakes?
or
You have no idea where you got so many $20 bills in your fanny pack?


This is my favorite.

I'm sorry, but I get everything except the last word...L41d?....somebody help me.

*****

SUNDAY COMICS


( 'whatever' was voted the most irritating word of 2010...I would have gone with "You think?" ) 



I know this is silly, but it's been in my file for...oh, five years and I thought it was time to set it free...

JOKE OF THE DAY

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...
 She and I have a lot in common...
she has huge boobs, and I like huge boobs...
plus she drinks beer.

???????????????
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2 comments:

The Boy said...

a quick comment on the new years resolution cartoon. i got this from a comedian.

every year millions make resolutions to quit smoking, lose weight, make a better effort at school or what have you. but i make the same resolution every year, and i am one of the few that keep my resolution every year. my resolution for the third year running is to not stab any one. fairly easy to keep as i have no desire to do such an act and nobody seems to piss me off enough to do such an act.

just food for thought for those looking for resolutions, why not make it an attainable one.

Ms. Revente's Musings said...

L41d= laid?

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