About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I've been watching the English version of the Al Jazeera on the computer for my Egypt coverage. Just go to Google and ask where to find it. I would have put the link directly in my blog, but I'm too much of a ambisinister fuck to figure out how to do that.

A leaderless revolution is what they are calling it. I hate to say it, but the guys with the most guns are likely to gain power. Sad that.

Egyptians without internet...Gyptians?
(think about it)
*****
SCIENCE STUFF...mostly


Yes, those are two people...and no, I don't know why...


My wife took these photos of an extremely cheap, yet effective, wheel chair.


Next generation passenger planes...
I guess the only way to have a window seat is to be the pilot.


I don't know what this guy is doing, but I assume it has something to do with a kite...any ideas?
I like it.
*****
I have a young friend who has a new hobby: toying with US Customs officials
AC: "We have nothing to declare."
Agent: "Why don't you have your papers?"
AC: "Because we're special."
Agent: "Why are you special?"
AC: "Because we're retarded. Why do you hate retards?"
Agent: "I don't hate retards."
AC: [laughter]
Agent: [blank stare]
Then he waved them through.
Here's a conversation he had with a rich dewd in Grand Cayman...
AC: "Just so you know, you're guilty of financial asymmetry."
Dutch: "Why is that?"
AC: "You have $50,000 worth of crap on your left hand and nothing on your right."
Dutch: "I could go to my safe deposit box and pull some things out."
AC: "Nah. Asymmetry is fine."
*****
You think this tree grew directly downstream for the Miracle-Grow factory...?


Okay, this is cool as shit.
A front loader or two load the bricks in the front by driving on the newly laid road.
Then one or more men simply lay the bricks on the ramp on the moving machine.
Then as the machine moves down the road, the bricks slide off making room at the top for more bricks to be placed.
Any kind of brick and/or pattern can be laid at a rate of a mile a day.





It's strawberry flavored condoms....
WHY?!?!?........oh, yeah





GDP of states compared to country.



SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) - An inmate in California who disliked salami was able to receive kosher meals after his attorney cited the "Seinfeld" holiday Festivus as his religious belief.


(I know this is silly, but this image has been in my file since 1986 and
I'm just tired of looking at it)


Speaking of NASA...I love slick segues...
(I think there's a sex joke in there somewhere)


Good idea?
Why not just freeze the bottle?


These are called "Foot Stickers" and they are made so you can run barefooted...


Is this true?





I've written a poem.

WINTER
by Ralph Henry

It's cold as shit.

the end



Being a golf cart driver, I like these next two.

PS: I don't live anywhere near a golf course.
As a matter of fact I'm proud to say I've never set foot on one.



The human mind is indeed awesome in the closure it's capable of.


These underwear come "prepacked" with a dick looking stuffing.


Notes from above...
*****
ANOTHER REASON I LOVE MY WIFE
I once came into the possession of some beautiful antique legs for a table, so I made a 4'x8' mosaic top called "Steak For Eight". When my wife and I bought our house, the table was too large for the dining room, so I suggested that I store it in one of my outbuildings. My wife would have none of it and pointed to the larger room next to the dining room. I said, "We can't put it in there, it's the living room." She said, "It's our fucking house, we can call it whatever we want."
Thus my table found a home. Notice the antique mismatched chairs. There are eight (duh) and it took us years to find just the right ones.



"So, which one of you wears the pants in your marriage?"
"Actually, it's better when neither of us is wearing pants."


CARTOON OF THE DAY


One of my very own...


ARTY WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

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