About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

ORIFICES

This item actually exists...




A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.

She puts them on, together with a short skirt, and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times till her 
husband says "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God for that... I thought you were sitting on the cat."




?????



"Be the man, bitch!"


Yeah, I got it wrong the first time, too.


I haven't thrown up in thirty years.
(except for that time in Mexico which was my wife's fault)  
I'm rather proud of that.




Hell, I would have done the same thing.
But my "branch" would have numbers...
like .357 or 12 gauge.


"If you gave Pat Robertson an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."





A law under consideration in South Dakota would expand the definition of "justifiable homicide" to include killings that are intended to prevent harm to a fetus—a move that could make it legal to kill doctors who perform abortions. The Republican-backed legislation, House Bill 1171, has passed out of committee on a nine-to-three party-line vote, and is expected to face a floor vote in the state's GOP-dominated House of Representatives soon.
(it will soon be open season on abortion doctors)



And now the biggest asshole
IN THE WORLD!!!!

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

*****
SERIOUSLY
Had a discussion with a trusted friend this evening. We are both fearful of what is to come. Some call us Doomsayers, but there are a whole lot of Americans that sit back and watch as the shit slowly approaches the fan. We all know that our government is spending WAY too much of China's money. It scares us....greatly. We have borrowed from our grandchildren to prop up what we have now.
Then I listen to our president and I want very much for him to tell me how we must all sacrifice to get out of the huge hole we have dug for ourselves. But what does he tell me? That we are going to borrow MORE money from China to build a high speed rail system that WILL NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY!
I have had people tell me that high speed rail will work since it is working in Asia and Europe. But those people have always depended on rail. Americans abhor rail. Amtrak proved that. 
Listen carefully, people....I WANT to be asked to sacrifice to AT LEAST POSTPONE the collapse. I WANT to be forced to drive less with a higher gas tax. I WANT to be asked to get by with a lower Social Security check. I WANT to be asked to help in ways that I'm too stupid to think of. But those smart motherfuckers in the corner offices SHOULD know what to tell me to do.....YET THEY DON'T!!!

*****
I'm on a roll here, people, so bear with me.

Could somebody explain to me why we strive to save so many lives? We all know that within a matter of years over-population will result in the consumption of all the world's food supply, then the shit will REALLY hit the fan. 
So what sense is it to save non-producers in other countries, diverting money that could educate future producers in this country?  I just don't get it. 
And why are so many resources earmarked to prolong the life of the old, non-producers, in this country at the expense of the well-being of the young producers? 
I know what you are thinking. You want to ask me, "Well, if you were 85 years old and you needed $100,000 of government shit to keep you alive, wouldn't you want it?"
I will tell you as a fact....NO!  I mean that. I have lived long enough. I say us old farts ought to move over and give someone else a chance.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A private US bank (the Federal Reserve) owns more of our debt than China.

Anonymous said...

The people in power who created this unsustainable situation (lawmakers, lobbyists, regulators, etc.) WANT people like you to have this attitude! This is the WHOLE POINT! A transfer of your wealth to their pockets! They must be laughing themselves sick with attitudes like yours.

No offense, of course, dad.

The Boy said...

agreed, but as an avid amtrak rider i will say this. the train is the best way to travel in this country and i dare you to find another way of traveling that is better. think about it, for one amtrak ridership is up and has been for close to 15 years. more people are riding the train because its cheaper than getting in a car driving from new york to greenville and paying for your gas with your pension, or you could fly and give up your rights and be touched by some guy with a six figure salary and a double digit IQ. now the travel time is longer, but you have more space to relax in a train, you have a lounge car to hang out in and eventually forget you are on the train, and best of all you see a side of the country you dont see on an interstate or in the air. the only things you see driving are commercial buildings and some guy picking his nose or talking on his phone. and the plane you see life from 40,000 feet, which is not so flattering after i have a cavity search. if i had to pick one thing, and only one thing to not cut funding to its amtrak, i want more funding, and more awareness of this great commodity. our country laid the foundation for all modern infrastructure around the world, and that started with our trains and their ability to transport people, and freight at a remarkable speed for the time, and now its outdated, its crumbling, and it shouldnt be that way. we should embrace rail service and make it essential to the back bone of america.

just sayin'

Ralph Henry said...

Lot's of stuff there to think about. Give me some time.

But I don't travel interstate and have many opportuniites to actually stop and TALK to the people along my route. Like you said, it takes longer, but my rewards are well worth it.
As for costs, I drive a small truck that gets 36 MPG. I think I've picked the best way...but more on that later.

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