This item actually exists...
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt, and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times till her
husband says "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God for that... I thought you were sitting on the cat."
"Be the man, bitch!"
Yeah, I got it wrong the first time, too.
I haven't thrown up in thirty years.
(except for that time in Mexico which was my wife's fault)
I'm rather proud of that.
Hell, I would have done the same thing.
But my "branch" would have numbers...
like .357 or 12 gauge.
A law under consideration in South Dakota would expand the definition of "justifiable homicide" to include killings that are intended to prevent harm to a fetus—a move that could make it legal to kill doctors who perform abortions. The Republican-backed legislation, House Bill 1171, has passed out of committee on a nine-to-three party-line vote, and is expected to face a floor vote in the state's GOP-dominated House of Representatives soon.
(it will soon be open season on abortion doctors)
And now the biggest asshole
IN THE WORLD!!!!
One of my very own...
WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...
Had a discussion with a trusted friend this evening. We are both fearful of what is to come. Some call us Doomsayers, but there are a whole lot of Americans that sit back and watch as the shit slowly approaches the fan. We all know that our government is spending WAY too much of China's money. It scares us....greatly. We have borrowed from our grandchildren to prop up what we have now.
Then I listen to our president and I want very much for him to tell me how we must all sacrifice to get out of the huge hole we have dug for ourselves. But what does he tell me? That we are going to borrow MORE money from China to build a high speed rail system that WILL NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY!
I have had people tell me that high speed rail will work since it is working in Asia and Europe. But those people have always depended on rail. Americans abhor rail. Amtrak proved that.
Listen carefully, people....I WANT to be asked to sacrifice to AT LEAST POSTPONE the collapse. I WANT to be forced to drive less with a higher gas tax. I WANT to be asked to get by with a lower Social Security check. I WANT to be asked to help in ways that I'm too stupid to think of. But those smart motherfuckers in the corner offices SHOULD know what to tell me to do.....YET THEY DON'T!!!
I'm on a roll here, people, so bear with me.
Could somebody explain to me why we strive to save so many lives? We all know that within a matter of years over-population will result in the consumption of all the world's food supply, then the shit will REALLY hit the fan.
So what sense is it to save non-producers in other countries, diverting money that could educate future producers in this country? I just don't get it.
And why are so many resources earmarked to prolong the life of the old, non-producers, in this country at the expense of the well-being of the young producers?
I know what you are thinking. You want to ask me, "Well, if you were 85 years old and you needed $100,000 of government shit to keep you alive, wouldn't you want it?"
I will tell you as a fact....NO! I mean that. I have lived long enough. I say us old farts ought to move over and give someone else a chance.