About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

STUFF YOU CAN BUY IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO...

Meet Watson, the super computer won kicked ass on Jeopardy, but not without a few hitches...

The Overlook's kids' placemat...

If you go back in time to kill your grandfather so you don't exist, then who will go back in time to kill your grandfather?

It probably doesn't work, but wouldn't it look cool sitting in you driveway?

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it's too long.

You want to buy Herod's Temple?






Alec Garrard, 78, has dedicated a massive 33,000 hours to constructing the ancient Herod's Temple, which measures a whopping 20 foot by 12 foot. The pensioner has hand-baked and painted every clay brick and tile and even sculpted 4,000 tiny human figures to populate the courtyards. 



Wanna hear a joke about my vagina?
Never mind, you won't get it.








It's previous claim to fame was as the birthplace of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. But now the market town of Grantham in Lincolnshire has produced an even fierier export after a local producer grew the world’s hottest chilli. Measuring 1.17 million on the Scoville Scale - an official measure of spicy heat - the Infinity chilli is so hot that it carries a health warning. 






This is...well....embarrassing.

A guy came into the American Legion with a coin that really impressed my bartender. He showed it to me and I just smiled. The next day I brought in two of the same coin. You see, right after the war the Allies let the Germans use the old coins because it was just too damn expensive to mint more. When I was in Germany in the late 60's about 20% of our Mark coins had swastika's.

Spent $50 on Ebay for a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

Good luck....alley front property in Detroit.

What if Rosa Parks had had a car?

Okay, before you scroll down, can you find the picture of Christ in this chair back?
 This is actually cool as fucking shit...
I mean that...






A new supermarket opened in Columbia. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
 When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience  the scent of fresh cut Hay.
 In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and brats..


In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite.





When you  approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma bacon and eggs frying.

 The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.






Ladies, if you can't be good, be good at it.
If you can't be good at it, look good doing it.

 HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

In the South we will eat just about anything....
check that...we will eat ANYTHING as long as it's pickled.
But IN MILK GRAVY....IN A FUCKING CAN....
JEEEEEEEEZ.

Speaking of brains...
 (Is that a real brain teaser?)

I found a site with hundreds of novelty packing tape.
I liked these two.

My buddy has a pair of "shoes" sort of like these,
and he loves them.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
Buy her a snowblower.

"Secret"....yeah, right.
 Like a good bouncer wouldn't recognize the fucking strap.


You are not "stuck in traffic."
You are traffic.

This is a flying drone.

You know how I love reuse, but some people are buying these to beat Not Wearing Your Seatbelt tickets...
it doesn't work.

If you don't know what Farmville is or what Wii is....
It's okay.....it really is.
 But if you DO know what Farmville and Wii is,
this is a great idea.  You want a garden....
THEN DO THE FUCKING WORK!

"What's your house made of?"
 "A rock."
 "You mean out of rock?"
 "No, I mean in the rock...singular."

President's Day was just another Monday I'm celebrating Sarah Palin not being president.

 ??????

I like this.
 ...and this.

I visited a site that had more ice cube shapes than you can believe. These are my favorites.


Unique furniture...

For people who, for some reason, can't just pick up a fucking cookie and put it in you mouth.

You want the perfect nose?
This is for you!
 And if you just happen to be so fucking lazy that you don't even want to gnaw you own pencil.....

This is the original "secret" recipe for Coca Cola.

I don't think this is really reuse,
but it's been in my file too long not to use.

Aaaaah, for you discerning customers we have a fish tank with a bird. But not just any bird.  This bird has been....
modified to "breathe" water.
THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS UNDER WATER!!!

?????

Got deep pockets? Of course you don't, otherwise you would be much too busy to visit Folio Olio.
 But let's pretend you have deep pockets, then you could buy this house.  I like it very much.
 It even comes with that "spy on the swimmers" window.

One quarter of Americans eat at McDonald's every single day.

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

Cleanliness is next to...you know...



*****

And lastly...yeah, I know people this smart...

Ralph…
I just read your blog post about the fish that had PCB-resistance.  This is a perfect example of natural selection.
This particular population of fish existed, I’m sure, thousands of years prior to ever being exposed to PCB’s.  They had no selection pressure until they had an advantage with the mutated gene.  Now every fish of that species in that area will have this trait.  Interestingly, 95% of the fish in the area have this gene, and only 5% upriver from that area.  The gene expression is virtually non-existent in other populations of tomcod.  A common misconception regarding evolutionary theory is that the PCB’s caused the fish to mutate.  That is not the case.  The mutant fish already existed, but had no advantage until they were exposed to PCBs.  Those were then able to survive and reproduce.

The receptor in question is the aromatic hydrocarbon receptor, commonly linked to cancer due to exposure to aromatic hydrocarbons, such as those found in cigarette smoke.  This receptor regulates the expression of many genes, particularly those involved in metabolizing chemicals to sometimes toxic compounds.  Because of the “happenstance” deletion of 6 bases (out of thousands coding for this gene), the receptor that is encoded by the gene (AHR2-1) is much less able to bind the carcinogen PCBs, conferring an advantage.

This paper was recently published (Feb 17, 2011) in Science, which is arguably the world’s premiere scientific journal.

This is just another example of Darwin’s theory of natural selection.  We see it with bacterial resistance, he saw it with finch beaks.  We’re seeing it now with a mutation in a gene encoding for a protein to which the PCB binds. 
*****
PART II
I just checked my viewers from around the world and found that there was a spike on a post where I stated I had been watching Al Jazeera English version on my computer for the coverage of what was going on in Egypt.
Interesting that.

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