About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, March 7, 2011

A REAL OLIO: THE BEST FROM EACH FILE

While working on this post I just heard a quote from Huckleby: "Out of children wedlock is a big problem in America."

I got another letter to the editor published....

You've all heard the story...now the real story...
 As us handimen know, the Sawz-all is a most useful tool.



Drinking: The Game.
Okay, so you and your friends are bar hopping and you say, "Damn, I'm fucked up." And your friends says, "Shit, I'm more fucked up than you." Now you can settle it with a Drunk-O-Meter. You type your name, blow, and watch your score.

Speaking of oral fixation...





This is a pretty cool illusion. All the lines are straight.
 Yeah, I couldn't believe it either, so I laid ruler on the screen.

Those zany Greeks...



The Origin of Bling...


 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!


 Seriously, I lay our passive attitude toward abuse squarely at the feet of McDonald's. I am old enough to remember when McDonald's convinced us that we were expected to clean off our own tables....AND WE DID...WITHOUT PROTEST!!! Next came pumping your own gas. Shit like this continued until now we drop our fucking pants ON DEMAND without so much as a whimper.

 How many times do you think I've been asked if I was Santa Claus? I would put the number in six figures. Anyway, what I do now is reply: "No, I'm his evil twin brother. I sneak into the house of cheeky children and take their toys away."

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Yes, this ant is rolling a drop of water...

Voted most popular ant in the hive...

There are so many thousands of these kinds of mistakes, that you would think there would be a website where a Chinaman could run his idea past someone who actually spoke English.



 DAMN, KOREA!!!! You actually pulled that out and showed it somebody?!?!?

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

Gentlemen, we are thinking the exact same thing, aren't we?
*****
And lastly...
This is the only person on earth who thinks I'm still attractive....I love her so...

1 comment:

Abz Fake Daughter said...

Actually Ralph, I think you're pretty hot myself...in a crazy Santa-fetish sort of way. Lucky for Debz I adore her too... ;o)

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