FOLIO OLIO: NEW THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW EXIST

This garment changes color when your baby has a fever.

This carton changes color as it expires....cool as shit.

TRUE:

Would one of you smart motherfuckers out there please explain to me how coke can power a phone?

Like the example below, when I was growing up a phone weighed 8 or 9 pounds and was sometimes used as a murder weapon. You could drop that thing out of a fourth story window and only scratch it.

I am NOT old enough to remember this, but this adaptation is fucking awesome.

Is this, like, computer sex at the gay bar?

These are just bread bag ties....brilliant!

When I stopped to think about the above, I kind of smiled. Does ANYBODY have one of those big ass computers filling up their desk instead of a laptop any more?

A two-piece tack with magnet so you don't have to fuck up photos and such...

I just wonder how difficult it is to get the ashes out...

Women don't snore, burp, sweat or pass gas; therefore, that must bitch or they will blow up.

Oh, pleeeeeeeeeez.....

Brilliant!

Coffee keeps me busy until it's time to drink beer.

I'm a clock guy...I like this one.

Always wore a watch like this. I don't like the digital kind. As an artist and spacial thinker, I like to look at the hand and decide that I have from here to there to do something.

Just read an article about gay people. Gays believe that a married who gets divorced then "turns" gay is just following his/her true self. But, oddly, gays believe that a gay person who "gives up" queerity is being dishonest and/or has been bullied. They can't have it both ways.
Secondly, the latest huge study found that only 1.4% (that one POINT four) are gay or bisexual. I don't want to sound cruel, but why are we spending so much time arguing about, passing laws for and against, and prosecuting people for how they treat them. I'm sorry, but the numbers are just too small.
I have often repeated the 10% number that seemed to have been pulled out of somebody's ass (no pun intended). Now we know.

I like this idea very much....but I would have gone with spoons.

No matter where you are from, you will understand this...

FLUSHED DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN!?!?!

TRUE: There is an event planned at my American Legion and I was sitting next to a woman today when a man walked up to her and asked, "How much chicken do you think I ought to buy?" She said, "Which is bigger, a Shit Load or an Ass Load?"
(I found this hilarious)

Why is it illegal in my city for me to take off my clothes in public? Did we vote on that and I missed it?

If I had my way, I would impose a term limit on all members of the House and Senate. I would eliminate their pension; make them participate in Social Security; move all congressional retirement funds to the Social Security system; make congress purchase their own retirement plans, just like all Americans; take away their right to raise their own pay; make them participate in the same health care system as you and I; and, they must abide by ALL the laws they impose on us.

I have serious reservations about the integrity of this...

No, no, no, no....no........NO!

I can proudly say that I have never used such a device.

Silly, I know.....but not so silly as to throw away....

(for Scott and Joe)

A few made-up images I like....

I thought Obama's joke in Ireland was pretty good. He commented on his mother's Irish ancestry and said the apostrophe in his name must have gotten lost.....O'Bama.

Wouldn't you love to meet the motherfucker who posed for this? The artist probably just instructed, "Just sit there and go full retard."

Speaking of air bags....I talked to an EMT who told me that because of the ability of air bags to break you arms, you should hold the steering wheel at 8 and 4, so you don't have to find someone to wipe your ass for 6 weeks.

I visited a website featuring an abandoned insane asylum.
Here are two rather powerful images.