FOLIO OLIO: AWESOME SHIT I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW....YET

This is a totem some damn place or the other.

The mouse ears reminded me of something.

During WWII the army built landing strips on remote islands in the Pacific. After they left they also built totem that looked like airplanes. This had to do with "cargo", which is a term that is much too complicated to discuss now.

At my family reunion, I asked a very, very smart 15 year-old great-nephew, "Do you know what rules are for?" Knowing his Uncle Ralph all too well, he said that they were made to be broken. I looked him right in the eye and said, "No, son. Rules are made to break you. Never forget that."

And I don't think he will.

I'm puzzled by men taking great pains to trim facial hair into a particular, intricate shape. I would call that preening and I'm not much of a preener. The next time you stand in front of that mirror with that razor in your hand, think about what you are doing; then remember watching your wife putting on her makeup and plucking hairs to shape her eyebrow, etc, etc.

TRUE: A 13 year-old boy has won 250,000 euros for inventing a doorbell that fools burglars into believing somebody is at home in an empty property. When someone presses the doorbell, it rings the owners cell phone. The owner then asked who it is and the question comes out of a "intercom" box on the wall above the door bell. The device even produces a small amount of white noise to make it sound like an intercom.

TRUE: Most of the world's chopsticks are made in Americus, Georgia because they have a whole bunch of poplar and sweet gum trees; the wood of choice for such things.

READ THIS: It could save your life!

My kind of comic strip....

I sent a picture of my crotch to a woman I meet on FaceBook. She said it looked like a penis, only smaller.

I finally talked my wife into taping her fingers together and pretending to be a dinosaur.

Okay, okay....waaaaaaaaaay more respect now....

I got real drunk and then got my picture taken for my driver's license so that when I get pulled over for drunk driving I look the same as I do on my license.

Clever bastard, he.....

Happy birthday, you magnificent son of a bitch...

If they made a movie about Morgan Freeman, who would narrate it?

My wife is always forwarding me weird news stories. I finely told her today that I've jaded on the fucked up shit that fucked up people do every fucking day....just one more...

( there's a gearshift joke in there somewhere )

I overheard this conversation between a very old woman and a younger woman. The old woman said, "My husband and I always travel on the back roads. We just cruise along playing Bon Jovi real loud. You do know who Bon Jovi is don't you?"

Would someone please explain this to me?

How to get kids to buckle up...read on...

I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of kings of the world. - Thomas Edison

TRUE: A company that makes gun oil for the US Army, said that the bullet that killed Bin Laden was coated with pig fat, since that's the main ingredient of the gun oil.

Right now chances are that someone is throwing up on the floor at a Walmart.

For all you purists out there who think that photography is not really an art form....I offer this mountain...

Found this quote about photography:

This is a wallet for all you guitar players out there....

SAY NO TO DRUGS: Although if you are talking to drugs, chances are you are already on drugs.

HAPPINESS IS EXPENSIVE

Can deaf people tell the difference between a yawn and a scream?

"Why is the fire place all taped up in our new home, honey?"

"I don't know. Let's find out."

Those are honey combs from a GIGANTIC hive.

I'm thinking of buying a bunch of monkeys, so that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to the monkeys throwing feces around.

This man is the chief of a large tribe in South America. He has just been informed that the government is going ahead with plans to build a dam and flood his homeland.

I don't even know if this next image has anything to do with the image above, but I agree....

That chief reminds me of the man I saw in Santa Fe who looked very much like this next guy.

He looked so strong, so wise....so fucking everything I admire. And he was selling cheap trinkets to tourists at a kiosk in a mall. That ain't right, ya'll...it just ain't right.

One of my very own...