CAPTAIN'S LOG: BEACH DAY - FOUR

IT'S NEWS DAY, BOYS AND GIRLS

I have my blog set to first send any comments to me for approval before they get posted. The reason I do this is to censor the ads....and these ads are clever, yet very generic.
Usually they are very, very flattering. I don't have an example of these, but more or less they read like my blog is now their new bible.
Here is the exception. The guy wants to sell an acne cure and to do this he must get his site address to as many people as possible. Check this out....

The internet may be changing for the worse, gentle readers.

One way it is changing is just good old free enterprise out to make a buck. It's called copyright trolling and here's the way it works.
A company approaches, say, The New York Times and tells them that they will hunt down every time someone uses a quote from their newspaper without paying. The company will collect the royalties and split it with the newspaper.
There is really more bark than bite in their threats, since they wouldn't send a real lawyer to collect the $2 you owe.
But more seriously is the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA).
Big companies are losing big bucks to pirating on the web. And big companies have big bucks to buy the lawmakers to get what they want.
Here's one way they do that....

The problem, as I understand it, is that they are creating a sledge hammer to kill a gnat.

Oh, and if SOPA becomes law and your internet changes forever, just remember it was caused by you cheap motherfuckers stealing music instead of buying it. I hope it was worth it for you.

Welcome home you magnificent bastards, welcome home.

There are now tour boats that sail out of California so you can swim with the garbage from Japan's tsunami.

"Oh, look, here's an ear and it still has an earring in it!"

I have no idea what the significance of this is, but I like graphs and this one is kind of cool.

So, what do you think happened around 1850 to cause the anomaly?

 Just say no to swallowing an ounce of cocaine that's been up your brother's ass.

He must have had a huge pile of discarded pieces.

As I understand it a boat load of young men vote on who they want to see kiss each other. It was either the two smokin' hot chicks or these two people. Go figure.

Could this possibly be true?

I'd rather be pissed off, then pissed on.............than.




TOONS TO AMUSE...

One of my very own....

TATTOOED WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

(I wonder if those are the signatures of the men who took a trip into Patty's Pleasure Tunnel)

AND THEN THERE'S THIS....
There is a new and powerful law in my hometown.

Anyone overheard uttering a curse word will be arrested.
It seems that someone overheard a bunch of slum dwellers playing basketball in a city park and it offended her. Let's forget for a moment that it is a known fact that you can't play basketball without profanity, why don't I have a right to be offended if I sneezed and you say "Bless you", or say the words "Say grace" much less actually say grace, or you say something about praying for rain or some such shit.


So what do the cops have? Two books; one containing words that can be uttered and another for words that will get you an arrest on your resume?
I can see it now.....
"Smooch my posterior, maternal fornicator!" says the young black man.
The cop leafs through his book. No infractions here.
"Feces, man," says the black guy, "This is pure bovine fecies!"
More leafing and the cops snarls, "I'll get you yet, you bastard!"
"Citizen's arrest! Citizen's arrest!" shouts the black guy.


You see my problem here. It's not the actual meaning of the uttered words, but rather the actual words themselves. And I have a real problem with that. The sounds are illegal...not the meanings of the words. Feces - okay. Shit - not okay.
Welcome to America.


I think the young white mother who overheard the basketball game should have used the encounter as a learning moment.
"Did you hear that children? Who can tell me some of the strange words you just learned?"
And after a short discussion, she could say, "And remember, if you want to get into a good college and then get a high paying job what should you do?"
"Never say those words, mom."
"Aaaaand?"
"Look down on the people that do use them."
"Aaaaaand?"
"Feel sorry for them because they are going to burn in hell?"
"No, Samantha. Keep the number of the police department in your purse."
"But, I don't have a purse, Mom," sobbed young Bert, a child from her husband's previous marriage.
"Then get a fucking wallet, you bed wetting little bastard!"
"Excuse me, ma'am?"
"Yes, officer?"
"Would could come with me.....you have the right to remain silent....."


Further....
You can't throw a dead cat without hitting someone displaying this symbol at sporting events, on the street, on TV and in Supreme Court Judges' chambers.

 As I understand it, it is an inverted official sign language for vagina. (I'm pretty damn sure that's TRUE)

So, are we going to start arresting people who hold their fingers in offensive ways?

Or what if we just mouth something offensive? You give it a little practice and you can mouth Fuck You and people will know immediately what you mean far beyond earshot. Should that be illegal also?


And before someone even thinks of lecturing me on community standards or some such elitist bullshit....here is my last word on the topic.