THURSDAY

Let's learn something new today, shall we....

Sharks aren't so bad. If a stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.

I saw my first chalk outline, even though, technically it was spray painted. It seems that a dump truck hit a man on a Moped. And, yeah, that was the shape of what was left of him.

Don't think of yourself as an ugly human, think of yourself as a beautiful ape....

If some of the worst mistakes in your life have been haircuts, then you are not trying hard enough.

How much shit could a dip-shit dip if a dip-shit could dip shit?

So much wrong with this I don't know where to start...Grapes of Wrath with a touch of bestiality?

A BIT OF GOOD ADVICE FROM THE DESK OF UNCLE RALPH - If you are ever asked to loan money to a family member or friend, don't do it. Instead, figure out how much money you can comfortably give them as a gift. When they thank you, just tell them to pass it along to someone else in need when they can.

Have you ever noticed that ants are always in a hurry.
Further, I wish insects were more intelligent, but only a little more....just enough that if I put the heads of their fallen comrades on pikes on my windowsill, they would know I mean business.

After reading this, you will notice that the the human brain doesn't inform you that the the word 'the' has been repeated twice every time.

What's the difference between a strip club and a circus?
A circus is full of cunning stunts.

I can't believe it's been a year since a shark probably ate Osama Bin Laden's dick.

Next is rather hard to read, I know. I found it interesting because it seems to imply that people just like to share names of a bunch of other people or not.

Here's the popularity of the name Stanley in England in modern times.

 And the same thing in past times...

I'm from the South and actually substitute "Done did" for "I have already".

Real men eat lutefish.

Yes, Gentle Readers, it used to be like this...

The other day I saw a friend and said, "I got your email last night, but frankly, it made no sense."
He said, "I didn't email you. Scotch did."
And I knew exactly what he meant.

We just had Earth Day. So suck it Neptune.

ONE OF MY VERY OWN...

The Karma-Panda strikes again...

Say 'You only live once' again and I'll shove my foot up your ass twice.

Have you ever sat on the side of a lake in the middle of nowhere and thought, this would be a good place to dump a body?

Don't let your affection give her an infection, put some protection on that erection.

As I read it, Electricity in Texas costs three times more than parts of Washington state. Anybody got any idea why?

This is a must read....

Saw a bumper sticker that read: CRITICAL THINKING - The Other National Deficit

ONE OF MY VERY OWN...

I bet it's like tripping out (no pun intended) for them....

People have been expanding mediums. I like it....

I used to wake up grumpy, now I let her sleep and make my own coffee.

If we Americans get so angry that civil disobedience was widespread, do you think the government would shoot us?

Just sayin'....

ONE OF MY VERY OWN....

Is nothing sacred?

Police dog shot in the neck protecting handler...

Policeman while dog recuperates...

ANOTHER ONE OF MY VERY OWN...

Just two more reasons why I hate cats....

Read an article about just how many horse die every year due to racing. I had no idea.

I would much rather find art in the environment rather than in the museum...

We all need one of these from time to time...

Remember when girls used to look at you that way?

 Me neither.

Now remember folks, somebody offered her money to do this....and she took it....

For Scott....

Nothing.....NOTHING freaks me out like someone telling me to "Stay Calm".

Okay, this if cool as fucking shit. This "saucepan" can be placed on any heat source and produce 5-15W of power all most forever.

Not many people remember Crappy....

If names originated by what they did, then what about Dickinson?

If people were honest, most stories about their children would begin, "It all started when the pharmacy was closed."

We were watching the news about a guy that was just sentenced to prison. An old fart next to me said, "He's going to get a mile of Georgia black snake up his ass 8" at a time."

 Extraordinary!!!

This is one of the first funny pictures I ever sent out. I still laugh at it...