About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

TUESDAY


I'll start off with something that is sure to ruin my friend, Kent's, day......

Ran across this and it got me thinking...

Then I found this....which I found dead on (no pun intended)......

It is not a new personal development that I want to know why I am asked to do things. I've always wanted to know who made up this or that rule and why I should be expected to follow idiotic dictates. "That's the way it's always been" doesn't work for me.

This child is not afforded the luxury of asking why. He can envision no other alternative. I do not want to be like this child.

I like to think that I would have been like this man....

To clarify: I honor our troops, like this one. This is my young friend in the Marines and this is what he does when he's not in Afghanistan shooting people.
He has dedicated his life to doing what his government tells him to do. We can not fault him for that. If our government sends him to preform tasks you and I disagree with, it is the fault of the people we elect.


On a related subject: 
During warfare, the first rule of propaganda is: Dehumanize the Enemy. Germans were Krauts, and Japanese were Japs or The Yellow Peril or Slant Eyes.
Vietnamese were Gooks.
There had to be one man, in one place, who first used the term Gook....and nobody knows his name.
So, what are the dehumanizing terms for the Afghans? I really don't know.

In 1913, survivors of "Gettysburg" got together there....


TRUE: They just convicted a man on 96 charges of burglary on the ear prints he left on the doors of his victims, being left after he listened to see if anyone was home.



That battle took place during "The Little Ice Age" during which there were blizzards in London. Notice the icebergs...the Potomac doesn't freeze over like that in normal weather.



TRUE: Microbes have been found living on nuclear fuel rods.



Do you have one of these?
 Why not?

 This is not shopped. This is a German woman who has just been named the biggest breasts in Europe....


CLUE: It's used to track shots.
_ _ _ _ _ _
[ BAR TAB ]





Friends are like snow flakes. If you pee on them, they disappear. 




Not shopped, but you have to look closely....


If there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.




Yesterday I was standing on the sidewalk looking to see if I had any quarters for the parking meter and three people dropped coins in my hand.


This reminds me; wife and I have a beach trip planned for first week in September....
 (that is not my wife)

Make sure you read the question....

The more I read, the more skeptical I get. I haven't gone over the edge yet, but I keep peeking over the cliff and the siren song of clarity beckons.....

Another running of the bulls, and this year, unbelievably, no one was gored. But what the fuck is the guy with the stick doing?

Some of these poor things collapse before the final sword can dispatch it...

Can you think of a worse place to put a target?

I will never...NEVER...tire of mocking these pricks...


I have seen children who make me want to OD on birth control.



Two of my very own....




This is what I look like when someone asks if I want to say the blessing before lunch....at a restaurant.....while drinking a beer......secretly glancing at her breasts when I get a chance.....fantasizing about....well, you get my point....
TRUE: Had lunch yesterday with a couple and the wife's mother from out of town. Before we were served, the mother asked us to join hands and say grace. They all looked at my face and died laughing. They all read my blog and were fucking with me.


Girls, you see how ridiculous this is?
You stand there with more than half of your mammaries hanging out and get pissed when a man looks. Fuck you....no, seriously....fuck you?......I'll meet you in the bathroom......I'll pay.

No disrespect, indeed....

I can't quite figure out who's doing what here....


I don't think I'm better than you, I just think you're worse than me.





Saw a movie about a time traveller. A man asked him why he didn't go back and kill Hitler. The traveller said, "How do you know somebody didn't kill Hitler and was stopped?"



This should make you smile. If it doesn't, well then......

Oh, look, another woman fucking up her face....


This is what I look like when I hear the word "bet" in an offhand remark.....
People like to exaggerate, like saying something like, "I bet Obama gets beat by 10 points." I instantly suggest a wager and most men in those circumstances would be embarrassed not to take the bet. You see, I have a million ways to win....he has only one...Obama gets beat by 10; not 9, not 11, etc.
That's one of the reasons I almost always win.
 
You ever notice how people who trip give the sidewalk a dirty look?



Powerful, this...


Keep the dream alive.
Hit the snooze button.



I think Iraq has the same gesture as Turkey, and that's what was so confusing when our tanks rolled in to Baghdad....


If at first you don't succeed, you're about average.




Oh, look, he must be from Thailand.....


Pluto didn't even complete one revolution around the sun between it's discovery and it's declassification as a planet.



????


The TRUE Olympics: When you put 10,000 excited, young, attractive, healthy athletes together in one place without parents, what happens should be predictable.
During the 2000 Sydney Games game organizers had 70,000 condoms on hand, but they had to place an additional order of 20,000. This year they will start off with 100,000.



Photography....


I bet if I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds, then people would move out of the way much faster.



And never was there truer words...


Sometimes I like to spend a half hour on the floor pretending I'm a caterpillar. It's best I not be discovered doing this.



The universe speaks...


Bastille Day: The last time the French showed any balls.



How clever...



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The guy in the nipple t-shirt looks remarkably like a young Dan Akroyd.

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