FOLIO OLIO: FRIDAY 8/24/12

In case you missed it, I wrote a special post Wednesday night about an event occurring tonight. However, when I viewed my Thursday post I realized that there was no way of knowing that a special post was sandwiched in between two days.
Anyway, in my never ending quest to pass on advice to young men concerning relationships with women, I offer this.
When your wife comes home to dress for a semi-formal event and proudly takes out the new sequined dress, you should not say excitedly, "Are they going to have a stripper pole?!?!"
Jokes like that just miss the mark when new dresses are concerned.

I like photography that gives me pause...

Can you imagine finding yourself so fucking worthless that you can't even feed yourself in the richest nation on earth?

This whole argument is just so silly....

Please, god, don't let Glee cover Pink Floyd.

His mother must be proud....

I think that the exception to this is "Lonesome Dove"...

My wife would love to meet the person that did this. My yard has strategically placed dolls' heads and shit....

A hammock is like a giant net for catching lazy people.

'Nuff Said.....

I don't always do chores, but when I do, I make sure my wife notices.

This is the way I look when I find out my Green Bay Packers will be shown on a channel I don't get....

Dear White People,

Please stop dancing.

The World.

I'm open for an explanation.....

1K words....

If you can't beat them, beat them up.

This is just begging for a caption, don't you think....

"Hitler, you idiot. I commanded you for a "glass of juice"!!!

This about microbes that turn other animals into zombies...

When telemarketers called, I used to give the phone to my 3 year old daughter and tell her it was Santa Claus.

You had one job, Tyrone....one fucking job.....

This whole movie I kept waiting for more pea soup projectile vomiting.....

I used to be "with it", but then they changed what "it" was.

This is fucking true, folks....I swear.....

I think god, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

A new app that could be fun...

This woman had a tattoo put on her anus on live internet feed.....

.....maybe.....

Okay, enough freedom in Russia, let's just lock up anyone who dares disagree with us...

We should ban life jackets and other flotation devices as they only encourage risky behavior.

Not too many years ago, this was a home office...

Self-awareness is not an all or nothing business....

If you are forcibly pushed into the water, don't worry. If it was a legitimate pushing, your body will find a way to shut out all the water and survive the drowning.

Banksy......

If you don't build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs.

I hate when I'm trying to take a nap and touch the wrong button and my whole system is frozen until my wife gets home to fix it...