HOW LIFE WORKS WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED

FACTS:
A man was shot down in his attack aircraft during the Vietnam War and spent seven years in the same POW prison as John McCain. He was beaten daily and, as one would expect, he still carries the seen and unseen scars.

This man worked tirelessly to promote the shopping and entertainment Mecca in my city known as Five Points; where my wife's stores are located.

This man, due to age, is resigning all community commitments and is being honored for his efforts with a banquet.

Months ago my wife "bought" a table at this banquet and I was invited to accompany her. I declined with the excellent excuse that I might end up at a table crammed with assholes that I couldn't abide. She said that she would arrange it that only my closest allies would be at our table.

I agreed.

Then the marriage rules kicked in.

30 days ago my wife told me that I should not wear my normal every day sweat pants....jeans were allowed. I agreed......reluctantly.

Then, day by day over the course of a month, I found out I had to tuck my shirt tail into my pants; could not wear my sandals; must wear a sports coat; and....AND must not drink too much even though they have an open bar; and had to bathe on the day of the event.

Then tonight I was informed that I could not wear my hat at the table.

You guys see how this shit happens? One little thing at a time until you find yourself dressed like a clown playing the part of a responsible citizen, which goes against just about every rule I live by. 

Am I going?






Yes.