About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

TUESDAY 8/28/12



One of my favorite photos....

Damn hippies, daring to enjoy life to the fullest....and not give a shit what others think...

I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of different men she's considered a slut, yet if a guy does the same exact thing, he's gay.

You know the drill....all squares are the same size and shape...

I have no free time anymore.
Between hanging out in bars and drinking at home by myself, I have no time for anything else.


My level of maturity depends on who I'm with.

No pants are the best pants.


It's a strange moment when you realize that the sound of nature you hear in the wilderness is the sound of millions of animals, birds and insects desperately trying to get laid.

How movies are made.....

I keep raving about this because I think it's a travesty....

1K words....

Let's do politics....
I would like to remind everyone that I don't see the Democrats doing any better in saving our country, but, damn, the Republicans are just so easy to make fun of.

"Wow, that guy in the skinny jeans looks super manly," said no one ever.

Still Life With Bazooka....
 A painter includes a weapon of war in otherwise benign art.

I would like a bumper sticker like this...

There are 2 reasons I would never drink toilet water:
Number 1 and Number 2.

Hey, asshole, if I went to your country and dressed like an Untouchable, you would have no problem discriminating against me.....

Sex with my wife is like a box of chocolates.
After we're done my fingers are all sticky and brown.

Quality humor...our only goal....

That image was probably a repost. I think this is an excellent time to discuss such a thing.
I post thousands and thousands of, hopefully, interesting images and there is no way I can remember every single one. Therefore, don't freak out if you see an image more than once. Thank you for not being a prick about it.

Bad kissing = bad fucking.
(I read that somewhere or other. I would add, Bad conversation = bad fucking. Stimulating conversation is a real turn on to me)

Juxtaposition......science and religion....
Beautiful photograph.....
If you are (still) a believer, take a very long, contemplative look at that image, then ask yourself, "How is the best way to find the truth."

Sometimes I drink a glass of water just to surprise my liver.

TRUE:  Because I still remember when I was young and loud and dumb, I have never called the cops on a loud party in my neighborhood.
I have walked across the street to warn the host that he has neighbors that will call the cops if he doesn't tone it down.

This is my good friend, Lawrence, with my new friend, Max.....

I can remember my mother using the word "iota" all the time. When I got older I wondered how a redneck from Alabama learned such a word, since you never hear it in normal conversation. I only learned its true meaning since it's used in crossword puzzles almost daily.
Then I realized that she always used it in the sentence: "Iota kick your ass for that."
(I made that up, by the way)

Several days ago I used the word "satchel" in my post about the pilot's map and chart satchel I was given (and love).
Anyway, since then I have received dozens of comments about various satchels for sale, complete with .com web addresses.
If you love me you will never buy a Cambridge Satchel, since they are trolling pricks.

How to separate eggs. Place egg in bowl, squeeze plastic bottle, release pressure on bottle, suck up yolk....

Very clever ad.....
Did you read the blurb at the bottom of the ad?

Years ago we waged a war on poverty.....poverty won. Then the war on drugs....same outcome. Then the war on illegal immigrants.....and terrorism....not to mention the race to the top in education.
Can I deduce that we can't do anything right anymore?
Probably. Now we want to let the same people wage a "War" on "Sickness and Death"....aka Obamacare.
Think about that a minute.

Just like in Vietnam, no matter how many weapons you have, people fighting for a homeland will almost always win...
Asymmetrical Warfare - Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Thank you. Thank you for doing that for us....

When did laziness become a disability that warranted taking my money and giving it to someone else.

I say, fuck waterboarding, just send in these freaks when you want information....

There's one in every crowd...
I like that image very much. I like to think that little fella on the right and I have a lot in common.

Nothing says "Shit is going to get real" like using a shopping cart at the liquor store.

Why is there no maximum wage?
I just heard today (and don't know if it's true) that there are many corporations in America where the CEO got paid more money than the corporation paid in taxes.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Is it just me?
(remember the nipple joining piercing from a while back?)

Came across this.....doesn't seem right to me.
Can anybody help?

One of the rejected designs for Mt. Rushmore....

This is from my most trusted advisor, so I know it's true...

It's a little sticker that you put on the window, then by raising or lowering your head you can make it eat peoples' faces...I WANT ONE!!!!

Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

Any comments about the possibility of churning up a bacteria that we have no defense against?

TRUE:  I just saw the latest stats. In the United States of America, 1 in 132 people are in prison.
Come on, people. We are not that lawless. We are over criminalized. But nobody cares because they aren't us....yet.
Let me state this clearly, this is the biggest travesty of the very foundations of our country. More clearly: Dear Government, Leave us the fuck alone!!!


TRUE (I think): The coldest place in the universe is in a lab on earth, where they can reach temperatures a cunt hair above Absolute Zero.
Further, the coldest place in our solar system may be a crater on the south pole of our moon, that is so deep, and the rotation being such, that it has never been touched by a ray of sunshine, for...oh....ever.

What the fuck does this mean? I like absurdity, but this one loses me....

Speaking of absurdity........Pompeii...go figure...

A Quote from Somewhere: "Featuring tweets in an article is a newspaper's version of giving up and wearing sweatpants everywhere."

Thanks to both of you. I'm truly sorry you will have to be apart during this very special time in your life...

Well, somebody is keeping the battery industry in the black...

You expect a refrigerator, stove, TV, car, etc to work for years without malfunctions. So what's up with printers that seem to break down daily?


Jambe said...

What about that man makes you think he's an untouchable? All I can tell is that he's probably Sikh. What gives away that he's dalit or otherwise of low class? Admittedly, I don't know much about South Asian social practices...

Ralph Henry said...

Presently reading a book set in India. Learned about the fear of lower classes when confronting upper class. Seems to be built into the system.
I added 2+2 and may have gotten 5.
But it's the thought that counts.
Plus I didn't mean HE was an Untouchable.

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