FOLIO OLIO: WEDNESDAY 8/14/12

Inventors are jumping all over this problem....

You know, if we had all just started earlier, we could have all made a winter coat out of our pubic hair.

When my wife and I are with other people, someone will say something really, really stupid and my wife and I exchange a glance that is her asking "Are you going to attack, or should I?"

This looks familiar to me from a muralist's website...

If it is, I like the social commentary.

Remember in college and the cops came and everyone turned into an Olympic athlete?

I don't know if this is Evening Primrose, but I once had them in my back yard. The buds would shivers a little and then open just about this fast. I watched them for an hour.

No "Just hangin' out" jokes here, folks. We here at Folio Olio do not have to stoop so low into the humor quagmire.

If you can't afford anti-depressants, I wonder if drinking No More Tears shampoo would work.

I see Kenya got a McDonalds.....

TRUE: I find myself having to reteach myself how to use a pencil after not touching one for a month or so.

Beating the dead horse to death with a large, unwieldy, enormous, heavy thesaurus until the equine corpse no longer breathes life.

I like my women like I like my coffee.
Hot, strong and naked.

There are still a whole bunch of people working to keep the government from fucking with YOUR internet.....

Some people just have cool moms.....

When I taught I could always tell which little girl spent the weekend with their dad. You wouldn't believe how they came to school....

HD porn isso clear you can actually see how disappointed their parents are.

If you're a vegan who ran a marathon and got your dog from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?

Know what this is?

Nailed it.

Picasso show poster in airport. Naughty bits were covered for a while after complaints...

Now take another look at that vagina. Who the fuck could think that that is nasty?

Some days should come with a warning label: Today is going to suck, so bring alcohol.

Anytime someone asks me if I like the song that is playing, I say, "I lost my anal virginity to that song."

Another line that used to work on my girlfriends:
It's "uterus", not "uter-you".

One person's trash is another person's daughter.

I normally avoid posting shit about insane people, but....damn!

From my nephew...

He didn't tell me where it was, and, quite frankly, I wouldn't want anybody to know about it either.

Bras, what are they good for....

"I'm not your Mom, boy...."

"....I'm your uncle. But don't let that stop you."

Now that I have a computer to make transparencies of any picture I want, I have discovered that this is the best enlargement device known to mankind....

Do they know something we don't?

A couple of Eyegasms....

This is Errol Flynn dead. It is rumored that his genital warts were so impressive that in the morgue, some were taken as souvenirs....

Okay, a study was done whereby they offered numerous true facts and asked people if they believed it. They said that the purpose of the "test" was science knowledge, but really it was to see if the font would skew the results. Well, indeed it did....
Here is a sample question....(which is true, by the way)

This one is just to get you primed for the next one...

(THAT SHIT IS TRUE, YA'LL!!!!!!)

I know as a fact that they are getting very, very careful with this shit. I had a small artery cut out of my temple once and four different people came in, checked the records, asked me which side and then and only then did they initial my temple.

How do you not know if you own one?

This man could have just saved a life....

Know what this is?

Maid in China.

Rednecks. The more body mass the better....(look at all the kids)

I posted this image to suggest that if this mutation has given her and all like her a significant advantage in survival and reproduction, then we could all have two heads by now.

Then I found out that she has her own TV show. That's cool, right.........right?

I might pay the rude bastard, but he can kiss that tip good-fucking-bye.....

Just fuckin' with the roommate?

TRUE: Every time one of my students said, "When I grow up, I want to be an artist," I would say, "Artists don't have to grow up."

I wouldn't try this. People have gotten in trouble adding humans to their targets....

One of my very own....

?????????

Yes, Anon, you could very well be the only motherfucker on the planet to do that.

Interesting, (at least to me) that in modern warfare these boats wouldn't last an hour....