About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

TUESDAY 9/11/12



Loyal Reader, House, went to San Francisco and read an article about the Golden Gate Bridge. When it was designed, nobody dreamed that so many people would want to walk across the bridge, therefore there is woefully little parking at the ends of the structure.
This is a direct quote from a book on the bridge:

"There are people who went to the bridge to jump, but didn't because they couldn't find a parking place."

I want you to think about that a minute. A desperate person driving around looking for a legal parking place so he/she can jump to their death....so inured to the mores of modern life that just stopping in the entrance was not an option.




Here he is walking out to a welcoming hometown...








Be careful about making too many sober decisions.



So let me get this straight (no pun intended), their enemy is a two-dicked man?


Crossword Puzzle Clue: Ready for a commitment
__ __ __ 
[ MAD ]


It was stated that this was true...I have my doubts...

This is the video that the newsman got in trouble with by laughing on the air...
And at the end, note man that just keeps walking by.

I knew I was in trouble the minute I saw the jury.



Speaking of....

Paint ball. You're doing it wrong...

 Arrest of street artist in California, with girlfriend who was his lookout...
 Obviously, she wasn't a very good lookout.


I think that maturity is knowing when and where to be immature.


I speak French.....french fries and french toast.



Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.



Dear Syrians,
Thinking of you often.
Sincerely,
Me
This was taken at the exact moment a tank shell crashed into the room....

Off-centered pupil is called corectopia...

I don't always read the directions on toothpaste, but when I do it's because I forgot to bring my newspaper to the bathroom.







The Paralympics: The only time it's ever allowable to stare at disabled people and retards....



This bitch could have made a purse out of the skin she lost in her nose job....

Worst "Transformer" I've ever seen....

Amish deep sea fishing. That is all.


I'm not always right, but when I am it's usually all of the time.



"Just horsing around. Why?"

This has got to be in Israel.....

I told my wife I wanted to have a threesome. She asked with whom? And I told her the two college girls next door.
(just kidding....my wife has never used the phrase "with whom" in her life)




If you must lie, be brief.



According to research, laughter is the best medicine; giggling is good for mild infections; chuckling works for minor cuts and bruises; and snickering only makes things worse.



My nephew took this out of an airplane window. A man's name written in full grown live oaks....

I still chuckle at this insanity....
And remember, I put this in the same league as neck ties and tucking your shirt in. You do it because that's what people in your social strata are expected to do. Period.





Guy's ear loop thing go ripped out.
Two choices:  Just cut off the remainder or get a tattoo of an elephant....

I don't trust joggers. They are always the ones that find the dead bodies. I'm no detective, but just saying.



It's so embarrassing when I tell my blind friend, "It's so good to see you again."



How far, exactly, should toleration go?

How do so many people "forget" they are driving a big ass truck?

Who put the "stan" in Afghanistan and all those other countries?



Everyone who reads this blog will die.



I used to think the brain was the most amazing organ in the human body, but then I thought, "Look who is telling me that!" Maybe it was dyslexic and wanted to be called Brian.



My wife will love this idea....

Cleopatra lived closer in time to the first moon landing than to the building of the Great Pyramid.


Shit like that gives guys a hard-on.

My Green Bay Packers got beat by a lesser team. Suffer with me, America. It just ain't right, folks, it just ain't right.



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