About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, October 29, 2012

MONDAY 10/29/12


I've never seen both teams flood the field after an injury to a player...it's called sportsmanship, and it's a good thing.


But South Carolina's ace running back, Marcus Lattimore, may never play football again and he was in the Heisman Hunt. 
On top of that he was just a plain nice guy, on and off the field. I wish him the very best.

This could get very, very ugly. I just imagine what will happen when millions are left without power or phone.
I know for a fact that I would want to be armed.

And now...the good news.
Gentle Readers, I present "Traveling Money" by your humble blogger.

And yes those are 2,769 one dollar US bills....


On a side note....
I once confided to you that I don't steal...I preserve artifacts. This handle is a case in point.
I once had a studio in an old school (built in 1925) that was scheduled for demolition. Prior to having to leave, I "preserved" every solid brass fixture in the building; including this handle that had been used to roll up the door (similar to a roll up desk) in front of the coat room.
I find it beyond beautiful...just thinking of the fellow teachers who had struggled with it over the years.
Also of note, that silver thing sitting there on the poker table was in fact a silver thing that was given to a couple as a wedding gift. The husband got it in a divorce settlement. I won it from him when he used it to bring his poker stake into my game on that very table....just thought it was a cool story.


Delightful old illustrations of how to get electrocuted....
Not real sure what the kid is holding, but you've got to admit, he probably didn't live to procreate.

At least he's honest...

And remember, all this and no change in drug use....
(can you spell "over-criminalized", boys and girls?)
(by the way, George McGovern was talking of legalizing marijuana decades ago)

Natural fireworks in the night sky......

If the whole world smoke a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours.



Oh, I so wish I could look at this every day of my life...

Black jokes and Mexican jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.


Well, Mitt, at least you've won over the Pakistanis.....

Climbing a mountain just because it's there has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.



A real man loves his woman all month long...

What fucking idiot named them jet-skis instead of boatercycles?



Life is too short not to orgasm every day.



I do my own stunts....but not intentionally.



 Design for a shore-saving break water that is supposed to work....


"Ample ink is spilled over debating whether the US media is biased in favor of Republicans or Democrats. It is neither. The overwhelming, driving bias of the US media is subservience to power, whoever happens to be wielding it." 
– Glenn Greenwald



Is it normal for my left nipple to be slightly larger than my other two?



(Might I suggest: "One Bar Away From a Joke.")

I see the queen has finally tried out those Ben Wa Balls she got for Christmas.....

God, I see what you did there...

Get it?

I vote this guy King of the Internet....

Eat your school.

Stay in drugs.
And don't do vegetables.



I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet, and sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters.



As far as I know, folks, this is factual...

Fuck the pricks that make these and fuck the pricks that buy them....
Not to brag, but I don't think I own one garment with the logo showing.

HD porn is so clear that you can actually see how disappointed their parents are.



There, but for the love of Shiva, go I......

This is from that website where you enter a (any) graph and it will find another that closely matches it....

But as I understand it, it will also find opposite corelations....


How I carve a pumpkin....

The only thing worse than not getting what you want is someone else getting it.



Motel door stop.....brilliant....

Recreated from skulls....
I hate to say it, but that guy looks exactly like my brother-in-law.

I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio. 



Had we been born somewheres else....

An orphan with a new pair of shoes...
(note size of new shoes to size of foot)


Cheap, reparable mine detector. Made of readily availble bambo....

Porn...
 Not porn...
 Fuck you narrow minded pricks.



 Einstein with his therapist....

"Be strong," I often whisper to my Wi-Fi signal.



Do. Want.

They should make a microwave that cools stuff down.



Now, this woman knows how to get a raise.....

What happens in the convent, stays at the convent....

One V1 rocket....
And those Brit bastards would have that fixed in a matter of hours.

Who in their right mind would want this wine back?
 I say, if you shove a wine bottle up you twat, then, yeah, it's yours.


"There's no post on Sundays," said one of the most hated characters on earth.



If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.


 You could say the same thing about Lincoln.

This guy has assured he will make it to the end of the series. Leg gone = can't become walker....

I hate pedophiles. They're all fucking immature assholes.



Girls, we appreciate it and all, but deep down...we don't care if you orgasm.....

Drunk girls playing Motor Boat. They get so cute when they drink...

Check out the photo used of Baby Bambina....She ought to name her next kid Juxtaposition.....



2 comments:

Scout J said...

Word on the street is that Lattimore can come back from his injury. Perhaps not next season, but he does have a redshirt available, so he could be on the Gamecock sideline in 2014. The dislocation, which made it look so gruesome, probably saved his knee from worse soft tissue damage. Let's hope so.

Alex said...

I love the clock, because it's pure visual punnery of one of the funniest Monty Python sketches of all time: John Cleese crossing the street on his way to the 'Ministry of Silly Walks'.

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