About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

TUESDAY 10/9/12


After a long and arduous campaign, the war over, treaties signed and casualties buried, I have granted an amnesty.
Years of logic, defiance and stubbornness has led me to the conclusion that the woman needs mercy and I, Ralph Henry, has started putting the seat down on the toilet after I urinate. I love her that much.

In an interesting turn of events, one day after my wife telling me I needed a larger TV to watch football, my TV died...just turned black. Now I actually do have a much bigger TV.
I think we call that karma, Gentle Reader.

And in breaking news, Michael Phelps, as if he needed any more attention, sank a 153 yard putt....yes, putt.
That's one and a half football fields. I'm sure his mother is proud.
I say the guy was too stoned to know what club to use.

Not your concern, non-smokers? Just wait until your little snowflake (who you just managed to bribe into law school or some such shit) gets caught and is shipped off to Let's Hide The Broomstick U.  Then, the injustice of it all will come crashing into your sense of fairness.

Winter is coming, Gentle Readers. I was actually chilled today for the first time this fall and had to wear a light jacket.....

I read that homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.


What a wonderful thing to think about.

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who don't.


In my opinion, this is the world's greatest anti-stress drug.

Rather interesting, this......

This could be a neuron in the brain, galaxy clusters, or interstates leading to a city. I find that intriguing. 

You know what disappoints me about most Americans? Conformity. They eat at chain restaurants that are all exactly alike. They dress alike, drive the same cars as their neighbors, dress the same, etc. Of course, the conformity of thought is the really dangerous part.


There are still people out there who think the top 10% are obscenely rich because they work harder than the rest of us or, worst still, smarter than the rest of us. 

Do religious people make preemptive prayers? Like "God forgive me for I am going to sin like a motherfucker this weekend."



With all due respect, how does it make you feel knowing that you will never be as cool as this motherfucker....

Once at my school someone stole a bank bag containing $6000 in cash...the entire fundraiser profits for the whole school. It was determined that the only person who could have done it was a part time janitor, who was called into the principal's office.
The principal said something like this:
You do a great job cleaning up. You only get $12,000 a year and you are worth much more than that. That is why I have tolerated your petty theft without even mentioning it to you. You are worth $12,000 and those cartons of pens. You are worth $12,000 and that petty cash from the teachers' desks. You are even worth $12,000 and that new tape recorder that hadn't even been taken out of the box." Then he set up and leaned in. "But you are NOT worth $12,000 and $6,000 worth of cash you stole from CHILDREN!!!" A deep breath. "Just return it and no questions will be asked."
Even with all that, the man didn't confess and the police were called.


Lighting. Yeah, lighting is important....

Anyone have any ideas on this?

These belong to a friend of mine....

Fuck those bat shit crazy motherfuckers.

Watch the lower left-hand corner...
"What's for supper, dad?"
"I'll pick something up on the way home."

What has been seen can not be unseen...




LET'S DO TRANSPORTATION


These people are not exactly freeloaders. The problem is that there aren't enough trains. These people would love to get on the train and pay for their ticket, but there simply can't fit....

Is this more fun because they are Arabs?.....Probably.

Buy a lottery ticket moment....


This is a new product that hold your phone wherever you want it.

This is what I look like when my wife gets in bed and says, "You know what I want to do tonight...."

I don't know why, but I find almost any displayed collection of stuff appealing....

A couple of animals that don't have the whole fighting thing figured out....

A human who could use some lessons...

Where "How about a cold one" has a whole nother meaning.





HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Well said.

Hebrew?



What a great bumper sticker....

Anybody?......Come on guys, help me out with this.....
(Sorry, I didn't get the theories.)


$770 Kobe beef and Maine lobster burger from some place I will never patronize....
I assume it comes with the wine.

Oops......

READ THIS SHIT!!!!!

Dangerous?
If I'm not mistaken, you can see the "teeth" on the chain, thus it is not running.

Now let's hear from the women's section....

What a wonderful question....

I also saw a video of a piece of luggage with hidden tracks that can be commanded to follow your cell phone wherever you go. The son of a bitch followed a guy all the way through the airport without him having to touch it!

Well, there's your problem....

This is the closest thing to a legal torture device I have ever seen....
Jeeeeeeez!!!

Somewhere or other it is the custom to "kidnap" the bride and take her to the wedding. Apparently, they take this custom very, very seriously...

But what if the bride was armed also?
Apparently, not much.
(PS: That is the same gun that almost kicked my ass)

But not all men know how to handle firearms either...

You can easily spot a woman who knows how to use her weapons....

???????

I'm not exactly sure why this banged on my funny bone so much, but it did.....

It's always bothered me the lengths some artists will go to in order to paint in "natural light". Even those who paint indoors prefer rooms with very large windows.
But the painting will most certainly never be seen in natural light. And we know that artificial light has subtle hue.

This is the way I look at the recorder when I hear a recording of my own voice...

I'm going to try this....


Most people think this is silly, but I actually admire this bachelor. How do I know he's a bachelor? HAHAHAHAHA!

When I think about the Big Bang and its singularity and black holes.....I feel compelled to find a connection.
Of course, I'm the guy that has been saying all along that the universe has always been and will always be.



It is never too late to make meaningful memories....never.


Common phrase here. Don't scroll down too quickly....
Two Wongs don't make a Wright.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Phelp's putt was in feet, not yards.

mike harris said...

The constant refrain about inequality. So 10% own 75% of the wealth, or whatever. I would say "So what?" 10% of the population pay 83% of all taxes don't they? The unemployed are thus directly supported by this minority. Or you use the "inequality" argument as a basis for change. Remember all socialist revolutions have ended in severe repression and/or death of the population. Every single experiment has been a disaster, from the Bolsheviks to Venezuala. Every policy socialists try is a failure. The reason is that as an ideology it contradicts and denies human nature. Imagine replacing "capitalism" with "human nature".The terms are synonymous in the socialist's addled brains. You have the richest, most generous society that has ever existed and you want to change the system of wealth creation? You can see why all the Antifa demonstraters are ignorant children. If we had a new socialist society then we would replace our system with a NEW , far more repressive ruling class. Obama's children would go to the best schools, but you would bebarred from the said schools. It's human nature.

Ralph Henry said...

But if what I'm reading is true, there has never been a disparity of wealth like we have in America WITHOUT a revolution.
I'm not a whiner about this, but during WWII the millionaires paid a huge percentage of their income in taxes...AND STILL GOT WEALTHIER.
Plus, there is a whole bunch of present day wealth held off shore out of the reach of US taxes.
I don't know all the answers, but Walmart paying their workers a wage that qualifies them for food stamps just seem skewed to me.

mike harris said...

Ralph, what you say is true. All I am saying is that capitalism, with all it's injustices, is infinitely better than the alternatives.Anyway I want to stop being serious and get back to your piss take of a blog...

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