About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

WEDNESDAY 10/3/12


Two philosophies of life....

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
(I could say the same thing about visual arts)


Folio Olio, for all your high quality humor needs....

South Carolina: Come for the meth; stay because you traded your car for meth.


Almost proof positive that Mars once had running water...

Do the Chinese realize that when they come to America and buy souvenirs, they are made right around the corner from their house back in China?



Plagues are gross.


"Well, everybody has to be somewhere."

Nihilism is kind of pointless.


Let's do Islam again, shall we.......




This photograph is titled "Inside/Outside" and I like it....

There's something very odd about the image....
 (nobody eats a taco from the top down)

From the '70's...back when they knew how to psychotherapize.....

How come we don't have awesome stuff like this on our shelves? I mean, this shit tastes like cheese and fucking lobster!!! We get onion dip are some such shit. It just ain't fair....

There's a joke in here someplace....

They are never too young to learn. Never. Too. Young.

Man went swimming. Leach attached itself to eye. Can you spell freak the fuck out, boys and girls.....

 If the seat hinged up for more storage it would be perfect...
 And it needs to be longer. A couch you can't sleep on is just a waste of money.

I wonder who won....
 Back when men were men....ugly men, but men.

So, it's come to this....
The black thing is an armor plate.....

Notice straw to drink through the fence.....smart girl....

Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single.
Just let that sink in.



This is one of many base camps along the way to epic climbs. Adjacent to all of them are huge garbage dumps....

Marketing done right....

I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl.



Rabbit Ears....not even once.....

If there were four hundred planes taking off from my city each day, going to twelve hundred cities and each plane had 250 seats.....this bitch would sit next to me.....every fucking time!


You know that warm feeling you get when you get really drunk and then realize that you're in walking distance of a Taco Bell.



Shit I bet you didn't know....

I'm not a procrastinator and someday I will prove it to you.


Worth the read...

How can you tell that your girlfriend is getting fat?
She fits into your wife's clothes.


Humanity at its finest....

Look, lady, you can't throw a dead cat in a bookstore without hitting a book about just black people....
Some times I wonder if there is anything that doesn't offend black people....and you don't have to make up examples....there are plenty out there ripe for the picking...

This is the way I pack my own lunch...


 Rule #39....Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner....

"Rule #39?" she said. "Well, Rule #40 is 'Go fuck yourself'."

Are you telling me college kids put alcohol in Jello?



Why are they called "Waiters"?
We're the ones doing the waiting.


 I bet that.................................pissed her off.

Robin Williams: The cocaine years...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Most people have wisdom teeth...I have retarded teeth....

Marketing at its finest.....
 I just wonder what they pay their workers at G-Spirits.
Think of the line on the resume.
"Experience: Pouring rum over the breasts of super models."
I don't know about you.....but that motherfucker is hired!!!


This is my wife's expression followed by the words "Not another football game."


221B Baker Street....

We found out at the funeral that Aunt Bertha was not as good a swimmer as she always let on she was.



"Don't get me wrong: I love the idea of killing unwanted babies; it's just that the notion of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Some fuck that likes to shock people.


Armageddon in 5...4....3.....
That's just fucking cruel.

This is the way every man on earth looks when she's slipping into something more comfortable in another room and he thinks he's going to get lucky.....

 And, guys, don't lower yourself with denials.



When my wife's family goes to the buffet, there are abundant, not so subtle mumblings of "feeding frenzy".





I walked into Walmart and the greeter who looked like me said, "Welcome to Walmart. Now get your shit and get the hell out. Have a nice day."
I tipped the motherfucker $20.







No matter how many times I proofread, I always end up posting some thong I don't Nintendo.






2 comments:

William Lockwood said...

Maybe the G-Spirit folks should use models that don't have fake tits? I don't really enjoy the taste of silicone.... call it a personal preference if you will.

p.s - I'm jealous of your beard.

William Lockwood said...

BTW, thought you might enjoy this picture of my girlfriend that was photobombed
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/561902_675885613894_416100737_n.jpg

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