About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

WEDNESDAY




I went to an Ethiopian restaurant once. We just sat there until we got hungry, then we left.


As I understand it, this whole disasterous invasion was caused by just a couple of Vietnamese fishermen putting just a few fish from back in their homeland in a river.

Frogman...

Let's revisit this powerful image...

Told a guy about the irony of getting hammered on screwdrivers and he asked me if I had ever tried a Philips Screwdriver.....vodka and milk of magnesia. 



You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.




One Of My Very Own...

"When I grow up I want to marry a grown man addicted to playing video games," said no woman ever.



Think about this a moment...

It's okay to be wrong, but you don't have to be stupid.



The Americans have a system similar to this. I cost gazillion dollars. The Israeli's figured out that they could just take the same interceptor missiles that they hung on planes and put them on launchers and wa-la, problem solved.

This is Picasso as Popeye. That is all.

(unfortunately there were no accompanying photographs)

Halloween costume...


Well, at least he now knows who the favorite son is....

I once wanted to add a room in my attic. Come to find out there are rules to such things. The one that doomed my project was that 80% of the room had to be at least 7 feet tall. This room would not be allowed.
But, the question begs to be asked, why would anyone care what my room looked like? It was my house. I just don't get it.
I would normally have just done it anyway and claimed it was there when I bought the house, but I had to have a bunch of plumbing permits and they caught me.


Yeah, every time I lay on a beach in the middle of nowhere with a naked woman on top of me, I wear pants complete with belt...

How to make a Bagel Mobius Strip....


Found a bar/restaurant in Columbia that has a special room in the back for Packer fans during the game. 
I can't wait.



My bet on the above would have been Skateboards...
I think he just shit himself. But for what? To impress his friends? Hey, dude, that ain't going on the resume.



Take a close look and tell me if you see anything...odd...
There is a dog turd at one o'clock.


OOMVO...

I think most blogs are written with these...

Nothing ruins a lazy Saturday like being told it's Tuesday.



If I happen to live to be 100, I'm going to make up some fake reason for my old age just to fuck with people...like that I ate one pine cone every day of my life or drank all my wife's urine....or murdered one random person a year for no reason whatsoever on a specific date and had to come up with a different method each time.

????

It's all fun and games until you remember that Casper the friendly ghost is a dead child.


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I just rode the scariest ride called SPIDER DESCENDING FROM THE CEILING OF MY CAR INTO MY LAP WHILE DRIVING 70 MPH.



This one took me a minute...

I don't always bite the inside of my mouth, but when I do, I bite it in the exact same spot ten or fifteen times throughout the day.



There are two kinds of people in the world.
I don't like either of them.



And this man put this image on the internet...
Yeah, steroids will do that to ya.

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes.
Then, when her eyes aren't looking they notice her boobs.



In French you don't say "I miss you." You say, "tu me manques," which is "You are missing from me."
I kind of like that.



Girls are supposed to dance. That's why they have parts that jiggle.



Newswomen are hired for their grasp of international relations....and great cleavage. No men on the anchor desk? It's only a matter of time...

A guy who just moved into my neighborhood knocked on my door to let me know that he was a registered sex offender.
I responded by telling him my wife had once bought tickets to an Andy Williams concert.
We've all done shit we're ashamed of.


OOMVO...

If my wife had a dollar for every time she felt more emotion for a fictional character than people in real life, she could pay for the psychiatric help she obviously needs.



I love where I live and have no desire to live anywhere else.  I think that most people on earth think that where they live is great....not all, but most.



What a fucking idiot...

During WWI they had these "Jousting" contest whereby one man pushed another man in a wheelbarrow. The man in the wheelbarrow had a long pole (lance) that was used to stick through the hole that can be seen under the bucket. If the pole hit the hole, the speeding wheelbarrow and rider could escape without getting wet.

You go girl...

Not bald anymore...

Baling machine places on the side. Warehouse needs them standing up. What to do, what to do....

This has got to hurt...but is it a penalty?

I've done this to people a hundred times...
Bet them that they can't pull their hand out of your hands. Then when she gets tense, you let go.

 OOMVO...




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

the keeper should be given a red card. The question is why was the scoring player charging the keeper? It was clear the ball was in the goal, so no finish was needed.

Scout J said...

My guess would be that he was running in after the ball so he either kiss it or could carry it around the field. Soccer players have been known to do either or both.

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