About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

RARE SATURDAY POST


LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THE NEWS...





Egypt turning into dictatorship...who could have seen that coming....
 But let's see what the army does.



KNOWN FACT: At 9:23 pm this cop bought a pair of boots for this bum...
LESSER KNOWN FACT: At 10:23 pm the bum traded said boots for two hits of crack.

AND LASTLY IN THE NEWS, WE HAVE THIS...
I told my wife about a security camera catching the moment the guy found out he won half of that huge lottery prize. Moments....mere seconds...before he confirmed he won, he noticed that a customer at the next register didn't have enough money for his purchase, so he gave the guy a few bucks. He turned right around and asked the clerk to check his numbers and he won. That, Loyal Followers, is karma with a capital K.
My wife countered with this:
She was in New York and walking back to her hotel with her staff when she came upon a homeless woman sitting on the sidewalk. My wife took her knit cap off and placed it on the woman's head. A half block later my wife slipped on the ice and fucked her ankle up so badly that she requried surgery. So much for fucking karma.
----------------------------------

"Pump that accordian, big boy!"

Sometimes when I'm driving, I put my blinker on for no reason whatsoever other than to see what the other drivers do about it. If you think about it just the right way, drivers are pretty fucking comical trying to communicate your error. I like the ones who use grotesquely exaggerated mouth movements to mime "Your. Blinker. Is. On!!!", even though no driver has the time to take his eyes off the road to catch the whole message.



In case you're having a crowd over for the holidays...

When aliens in galaxies 65 million light years away look through a telescope at earth, they see dinosaurs.



I woke up this morning hungover as shit to the sound of my neighbor mowing his lawn...I figure he'll just have to mow around me, cause I ain't moving.



I've spent a lot of money on beer, women, and gambling. The rest I just squandered.


OOMVO...

No matter how attractive someone is, their sneeze face can tell you what they will look like during an argument.




What if teachers are told to be nonbiased about history just to trick non-whites into learning our culture.


Don't say you weren't warned...
Don't say you weren't warned.



I pretend to believe in the Mayan Apocalypse to get out of buying Christmas presents.


There is an internet conspiracy to vote up this prick, and it seems to be working.

OOMVO...

On the internet you can't throw a dead cat without see a picture of a dog with a note...they are literally everywhere...but this one is a little different...

TRUE: I get sad every time I think about the Library of Alexandria.



Teenagers are all the same...
...and so are Dads.

"Ralph doesn't care."
I've started refering to myself in third person just to piss people off.



I wonder how many people won't get this...

Wouldn't you love to know all about the dynamics of this ice formation...

There should be no excuse for leaving this door open...
I mean, don't these people watch the internet?

Typos....ouch.





This is Buni. If you haven't kept up with him, this might no be funny...I find it hilarious...

OOMVO...

Fucking amazing...
Think of the shit that's going to blow our minds in years to come. 

(I feel the need to apologize for that)

A floppy disk table...


We all have an uncle like this, don't we...



One candidate's letter to the editor about her opposition...

Is this man human?

He had no idea what he looked like he was doing...
(that's funny as shit!)

Frog Skeet Shooting...

OOMVO...

I am so going to do this.
On Sundays I take my computer to my favorite bar, watch football and work on Ones of my very own. I can't wait to set my computer on the bar looking like this.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

http://www.everythingusb.com/hacked-flash-drive-15040.html

Easy to make one from computer junk too.

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