About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, January 14, 2013

MONDAY #1416



Morgan at his best...short and funny...


This young man killed himself a couple of days ago. His name is Aaron Swartz. He may have done more to help keep your computer free of government control than anyone on the planet.
There are speeches he has given that are on YouTube. You may want to look one up.



If you are not a football fan, then you might not know why this woman giving an obscene gesture is funny...


Had we been born elsewhere...

Remember the first (and last) time you tongued somebody's ear because you thought both of you would enjoy it?



This man called my house one time to speak to a guest of mine...

Where exactly is Lance Armstrong's nut? It would be worth a fortune.



Last night I asked my wife to set the alarm for 11 am because I had a lot to do that day.



"Now I am CERTAIN that I'd like you to buy me a beer."



In a battle between myth and reality, myth will win out almost every time.






Take just a moment to think about the horror involved in this image...

There are a whole bunch of these on line. They appeared clever....once...



One of the single best indicators that you are not like most people...

Saw a movie where a woman claimed her super power was "PMS Avenger. I only work 4 days a month. You got a problem with that?"




Is it normal for a penis to make a whistling sound when peeing?



What if that whistling sound is "When The Saints Go Marching In"?



What's the difference between a joke and three dicks?
Jewish people can't take a joke.




Rape isn't funny.
But it is pretty cheap.



That split second when a failed omelette turns into scrambled eggs.


I don't actually understand the formula, but I find the loss of information amazing.



America: Where shooting someone is easier than getting health care.





One year. Incredible.



The R and the H recently changed position.

One of my very own...

I call this excellent problem solving skills...

OOMVO...

This guy left after being pelted with poultry parts...

If you don't know what this is, you didn't grow up in the South...

Tittie prints...

OOMVO...

So, is the government going to buy all the AR "assault weapons?" I really would like an answer to that question.
Did they buy them all the last time they banned them?


How in the name of manliness does this man not have an erection?
Maybe he used them all up when he was a kid...

It's called youth. Get over it.

I have a confession to make...
...I have no idea if the chart above is correct, but at least it has credits at the bottom so you can look it up. 
I simply don't have the time or wherewithal to look everything up.
You find an error, let me know and I will share it with my readers.
Thank you.

Never make eye contact when eating a banana....unless you're up to no good.





I want to meet this man...

Our galaxy...
Another anti-rape statement...

Have a nice fucking day...
That young woman is NOT getting paid enough money.


3 comments:

Jambe said...

Ze Frank does a pretty good Freeman, eh? He's a pretty versatile speaker. He can be all existential and worried one moment and delighted and giddy the next... the earnestness seems genuine.

I especially like that "Happiness?" OOMVO.

Anonymous said...

Morgan Freeman and Aaron Swartz in the same blog? Excellent choice of two incredible people.
mdm

Jambe said...

Thanks to this new anon I feel compelled to explicitly point out that it was not, in fact, Morgan Freeman in that video. Because Ze Frank, who was doing a Freeman impression in the vid, is awesome in his own right.

I feel a bit silly now...

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