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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

TUESDAY #1417


Excellent question...in-fucking-deed...



Do you think she even knew how close she came?

I almost feel sorry for the poor old lady...but I think she's Russian.....fuck Russians...

My wife walked across the kitchen all dressed up and a full make-up job. I asked her where she was going and she said, "To the bathroom. I need a new Facebook picture."





I find this terri-fucking-fying...

If you love something, set if free...unless it's a hungry carnavore or something equally dangerous....what I'm trying to say is, don't be a jerk about it.



 Smart mouth pieces to measure concussions...

This is why we can't have nice things...
 TRUE: Prison sends 40K euros on balls every year.

This one image just about wraps up the whole argument, doesn't it...

I told a newly retired guy that he needed a hobby. He asked me if I had a hobby. I said, "Yeah. Disappointing my wife."


BIRTH CONTROL?!? I thought we had settle that argument back in the 1600's.

The mother of my newest friend, Max, sent me a clip of him laughing like babies can only do well. 

A couple of years ago I posted facts from a Ted Talk about this very thing.
There are many factors, but two struck me as most interesting: People moving to apartments in the city and the rising education level of the women.

Ladies (and men), I am of the opinion that the number one reason people cheat on their mates is that that mate refuses to even consider engaging in some sex acts. Most just say No or Never instead of negotiating a comfortable mid-ground. But maybe that's just me.

You might want to do some research on this. I had no idea how complex the problem was...

One of my very own...
My internet was down the other day. I finally graduated, refinanced my house, had that gall bladder removed, read 15 books and showered.

If you look closely as Dorothy and her friends skip down the Yellow Brick Road, you will see a dead Munchkin hanging in the distance. I don't know why.

Not a film, just interesting read...

You know what I got for Christmas? Girth. More fucking girth.


Let's let this one speak for itself...

I get the feeling that clouds with silver linings are expensive.


I talked at length with two ape scientists one time. I wish I had had longer to pick their brains. 
She, of course, is their god.

Camera equipped penguin...

Something I have been thinking about.
Let's suppose that one day we invent a propulsion system to take us up to, say, a million miles an hour. It occurs to me that as soon as we got half way to where we were going, we would just have to turn the ship around and use all that thrust to slow us down so we could land at our destination.


What a fucking amazing photograph....breathtaking...
It's so big it has it's own jungle...

That is a very....odd image, but image having your personal phone number all over the interweb for anyone to read. I mean, damn...

How in the hell does Radio Shack stay in business? I've go in every year or so to replace a cheap cable that I fucked up, and there has never been another customer in there when I was.



Fuck you O- ....

Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.



Easy and cheap to make storage units...

How to hide money in plain sight...

The best thing about hand sanitizer is that everyone looks like they are hatching some dastardly plan like in the cartoons.
(try to forget that the next time you see someone using it)



Another argument for sandals...

This is a good idea....right?.........right?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YA'LL!!!
No. I see this shit in the mirror and I want my friend to go after it with a fucking hatchet....I mean that. I'll deal with the repercussions after I regain consciousness.

In Australia, fossil footprints of a dino stampede...
That's got to be one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
So, you think the long "scratch" was made by a tail dragging in the mud?

My jury is still out on the bigger picture of war, but here's something I was reminded of today.
Those rag head motherfuckers fight and "know" if they die they are going to heaven and get alcohol and virgins or some such delusional shit.
But our guys believe that if they die they will go to a city in the sky to meet all their dead relatives and walk on streets of gold.
Just sayin'.


You give a few pot heads a bunch of weed and nothing to smoke out of and they suddenly become engineers. It's amazing.



Ah, gravity, thou art a heartless bitch...

All men know that feeling of watching a woman close the silverwear drawer with an epic pelvic thrust.



Found a new board game that's going to be a hoot...

They don't even give grandma a face shield??...

Ones of my very own...




The thing that moved this from mere funny to outright hilarious was the voice....I immediately pretended it was his...


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