About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian, and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


Some internet stuff about the Superb Owl...

Two early examples of street-legal flying machines...

If you are thinking of changing religions, have I got an idea for you...

"Fruited Plain"...what an interesting phrase for modern day America.

TRUE: Sunday I was out on the sidewalk smoking when I noticed a young woman standing in the street filming my entire side of the street...including me. As I walked past her she stopped and walked to the sidewalk. I said, "You took my picture." She smiled and said, "I'm sorry. Is it okay?"
I said, "Well, my parole officer has forbidden me from ever having my picture taken again."
When her mouth fell open I started laughing and then so did she.
I love fucking with people.

There are two kinds of husbands: Those that are henpecked and liars.

Has anyone else noticed that white people are the only ones on earth that do not need an advocacy group?
I don't believe in god, but if I did, he'd be a black, left-handed guitarist.

Give it a minute...

I don't know what she's doing, but she's not aiming that gun...

This is what it looks like when the brain forms a thought...

You probably shoulda been there...

Nigeria's newest fashion is to have your lip tattooed pink...$7000 euros.  I think he looks very.........pink...

My newest friend, Max, spends a lot of time at other shops in Five Points. They place him on the counter and take times reading to him. He appears to love it.
I've read that it doesn't matter you read to a young child. It's the cadence of the language that is most important.

We all know a douchebag named Mike.

I've always been fascinated by god's obsession with my dick. What's in it for him?

Sometimes, when I write a long, intricate word and there's no red line under it, I type in some nonsense just to make sure my spellcheck is still working.

 Why didn't god stop the little boy rape in churches...I'm pretty sure he's allowed in there.

Is this true?

Just heard that every man, woman, and child in America owes about $50K. But only about half of those are adults, which pushes it to $100K. And only half the adults pay taxes, so you owe $200K. Have a nice day.

This train car was suppose to end the damage done by colliding with another train...
Good luck with that shit.

CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more north.

I have no idea what this is suppose to mean...

It's been too long since I've played poker...
But winning a ton a money on the Super Bowl will bide me over until College baseball season.

Oh, look, the Terminator just landed again...

Don't stop believing...unless your dream is stupid.

Girls should know that low cut dresses will be looked down upon.

(give that one a second or two)

I like to learn something from the internet every single day.

What would happen if you flew a Cessna 172 Skyhawk above the surface of the 32 largest solar system bodies...

TRUE: In China they sell fresh air that you sniff from time to time...
And you thought Americans were stupid spending $1.50 for a bottle of the same water you can get out of your sink.

If you are going to burn your bra, take it off first.

This was punishable by death...

For some fun, you should do some research on how fire behaves in space. Very strange, indeed.

My back went out. The only thing that has saved me is my Jerry Atric chair I snagged a decade or so ago. I never met Mr. Atric, but he designed the perfect chair for back problems.

"I demand to be taken seriously!"

Mario eats mushrooms and gets taller. 

You can't explain that shit.

My wife has learned to stop saying "How stupid can you be?", since I take it as a personal challenge.

"There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew."  - Marshall McLuhan

"Oh, fuck!".....no, seriously, I think they are fucking...

When I was in the military, I never hung out where there where a lot of other GI's. 
My buddies and I would drive an hour or so and find places where being an American was......special. Then we would take the owners of the bars a quart of Jim Beam (our cost $2) and would drink beer free for months; then we would take him another. We did this at dozens of bars and would be greeted by name every time we walked in the door. This was very helpful in picking up women....trust me.

One of somebody else's that I wish was my own...

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.

I couldn't believe anything more...

So, which are you?

This is worth another look....
What are the fucking chances? 

Ones of my very own....

Short and, at least to me, fucking hilarious. Can you say practice body language in front of a mirror, boys and girls?
>>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<


Anonymous said...

Hey Ralph,

I went back to work last March - I give chemo. I have noticed this. Not only oral sex, but "vigorous kissing" with someone already with HPV in the mouth. The HPV vaccine is targeted to young girls, but boys need it as well. There are still many things I would like to know about this- any dormancy of the virus; need for booster vaccine (time will tell); vaccines are preventative - anything to do to "knock" it out before becomes cancer; etc
Glad you are feeling better!
Karen Waldrop

Ralph Henry said...

I had no idea. I thought it was a spoof.
Thanks for straightening me out.

Jambe said...

The "When is it going to stop?" image you found fascinating is from Chris Ware's Building Stories, which is really worthwhile (it's worth the $30, in my opinion).

It's a collection of illustrated (comic-style) stories following a lady through various stages of her life. It's presented in various formats, from a tall folding multi-scene board to standard hardbound books to pamphlets and broadsheets.

Some jerkoffs have called it pretentious but I think Chris Ware is one of the most self-aware, thoughtful cartoonists of our time.

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