THURSDAY #1472

(I put my new most trusted advisor on the research of this and it facts are still ambiguous. If true, it's unforgivable)

The internet has spoken in one loud voice. Fucking a young girl who has passed out at a party is very, very wrong...

This guy painted his house like this. Why?

He lives across the street from these lunatics...

This is what greeted me when I woke up this morning...

That's my front yard.

My wife is such a bad cook, her soup is dry.


I think women should demonstrate their climax face to her date prior to him spending any money on her...

I saw a guy at Walmart that looked just like Morgan Freeman. He caught me staring, pointed to me and said, "I'm not Morgan Freeman."

Tangentially:

"Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"I'm a locksmith... and, I'm a locksmith.

This is one of the most powerful hands guns in the world...

It's my opinion that if he pulled the trigger right now, the recoil would break his nose.

Another plumber...

Competitive eating does not make you an athlete.

"I'm up for that" and "I'm down for that" mean the same thing.

White people! I mean, damn.

They track and limit how much Sudafed I buy, concerned that I may be making meth with it. What's funny is, I can buy all the meth I want. So now I'm looking for a recipe to turn meth back into Sudafed.

One of my favorite photographs...

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

I've been accused of unfairly making fun of France.
I know that the french have been formidable conquerors...

I know that they gave us the Statue of Liberty...

But, you see, I've spent some time in France. France, where even the waiter treats you like shit because you are American.
Of course, I've also been accused to picking on Russia, Japan and even Romania.

Nobody has accused me of picking on North Korea, but that's because no North Korean has a computer.

Recognize the next two people?

[ Young Winston and Drew Carey when a Marine ]

One of my very own...

This is not even that funny, but I'll probably post everything Frogman does...

If the war on drugs brought in more drugs, and the war on terror created more terrorists, can we please have a war on jobs and money soon?

I met a woman like this guy. 

The woman I met was Mrs. Semineau, and I don't know if that's how you spell it....never saw it written down. She had some very weird blood that was so special a controlling some dread disease that they named it The Semineau Strain. She gave blood every chance she had and, I might add, she got the best medical care in the world.....they wanted her to live a long, long time.

My wife has started to go to the gym...

I wish I knew what they call this flower...

His virginity protection. Effectiveness: 100%...

Sometimes I sit and think.....sometimes I just sit.

This is the way they used to move trees...

The root of all evil will die if not watered.

Speaking of tourists...

Life is too short to learn German.

I used to be very critical of people who play video games. I thought them childish; wasting hours of their day playing a game that, in my opinion, should only be played by children trying to enhance their hand/eye coordination.
Now my jury is still our, but at least it's still out.


I had a waterproof covered hammock sort of like this when I camped a lot...

OOMVO...

Indications are that this is a four-winged dinosaur...

I think the feathers on the hind legs were for decorations. You know how bitches love feathers.

A whole truck full of this stuff?!?

This reminds me of taking my wife to the park to ask her to marry me and not being able to find a bench without a sleeping bum...

Dear Commenter who thinks I make fun of Russia,
I don't make this shit up. I post only what I can find. You find stupid stuff the Welsh do, send it to me...

He actually scratched his head....how Russian.

This doesn't mean a thing to me, I just thought it would be a cool thing to post...

I wonder if the receptionist at the sperm bank has ever used the phrase "Thanks of coming".

I will state again, if you feel the need to die, more power to you. But know that you will be missed by someone.

Please think about this...

Never thought it was possible to be over-dressed and under-dressed at the same time...

Don't die a virgin.
Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there.

I see something similar to this in ever ad I see...

Just because you don't have any social passion doesn't mean nobody does...

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
People have been stealing shit off the internet for a long, long time. Not only that, they have been stealing from people with enough money to get laws passed.
I don't care who gets the money from songs and movies or whether they earned it or whether you like them or not, you (free downloaders) knew it was wrong. But that's not the point.
The point is, if you juxtapose pissed off corporations with deep, deep pockets AND cyber-vulnerability being our new #1 security concern, and we should all be prepared for changes in the internet as we know it.
I'm not really blaming you people who downloaded ten thousand songs without paying a dime to anybody, but I can imagine that there are some very powerful people who do blame you. Don't expect any sympathy from them....or the members of congress they control.
They are going to solve both thievery and security problems with a very, very broad brush.
I hope you enjoy that movie you got for free also.
Maybe nobody noticed.