MONDAY'S SWIVET #1482

I have finished "One 2 Per Customer".

First I clamped a block of wood exactly 6 1/8th inch from the blade. This would insure that each cut was identical.

I determined 6 1/8th inch by measuring all of my two dollar bills. I had collected them over 30 years of playing poker...every two dollar bill in the pot, I made sure I won it. Each was that length except for one...

It looked like it had been washed many times and probably shrunk. I then cut all of the wooden dowels I had, rolled and secured the two dollar bills to it. I had no idea how many dowels I would need, but when I finished I had (totally by accident) the exact amount with only the shrunk bill left over...

I felt lik Yi Kaizhan.
Who is Yi Kaizhan you ask?

I bought a length of clear tubing, but having been wrapped around a spool for its whole life was spring loaded, as it were. To take the curve out of it, I hung it from the ceiling and clamped a weight on the bottom, and left for a month or so...

After pre-cut tubing, I took the bill wrapped dowel and slid it into the tube...

 I used a sander to make the ends flush and clean...

But I didn't really like seeing the raw wood of the end of the dowel.

So I took the "holes" I had punched in "Traveling Money" and glued one dot to the end of each rod...

My wife and I's friend, the homeless woman, walks just about every day. When I say walk, I'm talking for 5 or 6 hours, all over the city. Her name is Peggy.
During one of her nomadic treks, Peggy came upon an old cookie jar of a thing. She brought it to her "Bubba" and I used it to house the "treats".

I wanted to make it seem that these were treats offered children for behaving in the doctor's or dentist's office...

EASTER...

This is the results of a survey of who would die in the final episode...

There are two sides to every divorce...your's and shithead's.

Read an interesting story about murder. It was explained that for each murder you could go way, way back to develop a chain of behavior whereby the final link is the murder. The murder rate in the US has dropped dramatically not because of gun control, but by addressing the rest of the chain....first arrest, gang affiliation, having a mentor, etc.


Not sure whether more of us are disabled or now, with the stigma removed, more people are applying to be sent a check for being a cripple...

The cynic in me votes for people just wanting something for nothing.  What with OSHA dictating safety in every aspect of every workplace, it's hard to believe three times more people are being permanently disabled at work.

This is me when a person turns their back on me to ask my wife if we would like to meet her and her husband for dinner....

They are refrigerator magnets...

It's called karma and it's pronounced "Haha, fuck you!"

If your wife don't like that bitch, you don't talk to that bitch.

Wartime propaganda...

Another photograph that looks like two photographs...

An Afghan family living on the site of the ancient images destroyed by the Taliban....

Whatever blows your skirt up...

This explains a lot...

Get it?

Here's a hint...

Part of the Mexican National Anthem...

My wife laughed out loud at this last time, so I thought it was worth a revisit...

If you think this is humorous, then fuck you...

Watched a movie set in New Orleans and my wife and I think the characters not only ate in the same restaurant as we did, but at the same table...

This is a line from that movie when a man was asked, "Can I ask you something?"

You know that look your dog gives that person that you bring into your house for the first time...

He is evaluating whether you deserve to live or not.

Some parking lot have you buy a ticket from an ATM sort of machine and place the stub on your dash....

One of my very own...

This motherfucker juggles and solves three cubes at a time...

The look of war...

A tunnel rat.

I think this is an excellent idea...

Nothing says, "I don't understand the US legal system" like protesting in front of the Supreme Court.

My first wife worked for a high-pressure ad agency and to develop a sense of unit cohesion they wanted all employees and spouses to go rafting. I refused. 
I told her that I've never understood why one would want to subject themselves to such risks. She said that there really wasn't any risks. So I said, so I have to pretend there are risks, but there really aren't, like being on a roller coaster. She said I was just being difficult and I guess I was.
There was a rather big row, but then came the news of a woman rafter bashing her head on a rock and dying without even getting knocked out of the boat!!! 
Trip cancelled.

This is my kind of unit cohesion building activity...

I had an old friend who used to river dive. Once in only 4 feet of water up in the mountains, he found a shark's tooth a big as a dinner plate...

Did you ever notice that size 13 shoes cost more than, say, size 9? And a XXXL suit cost more. It probably has to do with the increase in material or something.
Well, there is an effort afoot to have fat people pay more to fly on an airline. I'm cool with that...they require more fuel.
But....BUT.....If I take my daughter and she only weighs 75 pounds, then she needs a discount.
Come up with an average weight, add cost for over, discount for under. What's good for the fat goose is good for the thin gander.
Works for me.
But for the love of god, keep the government out of it. Let this be between a company and its customers.

OOMVO...

Having Netflix, I've seen the first half of movies, like, 20 times.


A man has to do what a man has to do...

I've actually done shit like this.

I don't think the person who first coined "I've been working like a dog" ever actually had a dog.

I've owned two trucks this old. I will never forget the sound it made when you got in and slammed the door...

For women, marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown child who can't take care of himself.


I researched chimney sweeps for a novel one time...

As I understand it, in Europe (and maybe US) you couldn't get fire insurance without having your chimney swept regularly. It was also impossible to become a sweep without putting in like half your life as an apprentice. Then your old "master" would sell you the business and you would get your own apprentice.
By the way, the novel was about a rich, blue-blood man who was having trouble finding a wife; all his peers being spoiled assholes. So he talked the chimney sweep into allowing him to help the apprentice for a while.
Then he spied on those women on their home turf. Since he was allowed in the houses, he could see how they treated their servants, siblings and parents; how they ate and drank; whether they whored around, etc. Anyway, he finally found a good woman only to discover she didn't want a thing to do with him.

Something not I want about to think....

If you have never passed out at a party, I worry about you...

Had to make this too big to make it legible. Try scrolling over...

I once sat through a 45 minutes speech on wasting time.


How delightful...

Wouldn't it be great to have these all over the city.

One of my advisors started his own blog. The first entry concerned the costs of bottle water, which we should all agree is an insane thing to spend your money on, when the exact product is sitting right inside your plumbing.
Anyway, saw this and thought of him...